Justsomeguys
New member
So me and my boyfriend (I'm a bi male he is gay) started hanging out with a friend of mine we are in our early 30s he is mid 20s. He only recently came out as bi but I have been friends with him for about 5 years and I always kinda knew he wasn't straight. When he came out my boyfriend and I had been considering inviting another guy into things purely for playtime.
I suggested my friend and they both were somewhat interested but wanted to get to know each other. I have always really liked this guy though hadn't considered anything romantic as my bf and I had always been monogamous aside from a single incident where threesome occurred many years ago. Since I started hanging out with friend I have wanted boyfriend to meet him because I thought they would get along really well. Because we are all working full time with different schedules, and me and my bf are both also in school we never manage to hang out together until about 4 weeks ago.
Since the first time we all hung out we have been trying to hang out as frequently as possible and though no sex has occurred my bf and I have both started feeling more romantically interested in this guy. I had been kind of thinking about figuring out how to bring up the subject of some kind of three way relationship, but was kind of worried how bf would take things as we have been a very monogamous couple up to this point.
Two days ago bf and I were talking and he brought up the suggestion that this could become a friend dating us as a couple situation and this turning into a triangle relationship. I was glad to hear him bring that up as i was worried he would be hurt by my growing feelings for friend. Turns out he was having the same feelings.
So finally getting to the point. We don't know how this could change our relationship dynamic and while this whole thing is exciting I love my bf very much and the idea that something like this could hurt our relationship is terrifying. Also friend just came out and is basically experiencing gay/bi life for the first time (he says his attraction is about 10% women 90% men) He has never been with a man and never had a long term relationship. He is a very mellow guy and we were all raised religious in a not gay friendly religion so he has some things to figure out in his life that we have already figured out.
Between my boyfriend and myself I am actually very confident that we can weather just about anything after 14 years together. My biggest concerns are at what point would we broach the subject with friend. If he decided to become a part of this new 3 person relationship how do we handle making sure he is able to continue to grow as his own person rather than just being absorbed into the two of us. I specifically said become a new relationship rather than join ours because for this to work I think we would need to look at it as a new relationship rather than him joining ours or it would be doomed from the beginning. But it is impossible, and i would never want to ignore the 14 years me and my bf already have between us. At what point do we share the parts of our life with a new person that we already shared with each other?
Practically speaking me and the boyfriend basically have completely merged our finances and basically everything about our lives. When and how does that happen with this new person. I know it would be a while I'm not trying to say we do all this immediately I'm just going over so much in my head right now. My brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure out all of this stuff.
All of this stuff aside how do you even know if a newly out bisexual person is emotionally ready to handle a relationship like this?
Please forgive my rambling I just just vomited up all of my words onto my keyboard right now because there's a million things going through my head but any input advice or suggestions anyone might have would be appreciated.
TLDR: Previously monogamous bi/gay male couple starting to fall for a friend. Friend is newly out as bi with little life and relationship experience. All so new. Stream of consciousness word dump.
I suggested my friend and they both were somewhat interested but wanted to get to know each other. I have always really liked this guy though hadn't considered anything romantic as my bf and I had always been monogamous aside from a single incident where threesome occurred many years ago. Since I started hanging out with friend I have wanted boyfriend to meet him because I thought they would get along really well. Because we are all working full time with different schedules, and me and my bf are both also in school we never manage to hang out together until about 4 weeks ago.
Since the first time we all hung out we have been trying to hang out as frequently as possible and though no sex has occurred my bf and I have both started feeling more romantically interested in this guy. I had been kind of thinking about figuring out how to bring up the subject of some kind of three way relationship, but was kind of worried how bf would take things as we have been a very monogamous couple up to this point.
Two days ago bf and I were talking and he brought up the suggestion that this could become a friend dating us as a couple situation and this turning into a triangle relationship. I was glad to hear him bring that up as i was worried he would be hurt by my growing feelings for friend. Turns out he was having the same feelings.
So finally getting to the point. We don't know how this could change our relationship dynamic and while this whole thing is exciting I love my bf very much and the idea that something like this could hurt our relationship is terrifying. Also friend just came out and is basically experiencing gay/bi life for the first time (he says his attraction is about 10% women 90% men) He has never been with a man and never had a long term relationship. He is a very mellow guy and we were all raised religious in a not gay friendly religion so he has some things to figure out in his life that we have already figured out.
Between my boyfriend and myself I am actually very confident that we can weather just about anything after 14 years together. My biggest concerns are at what point would we broach the subject with friend. If he decided to become a part of this new 3 person relationship how do we handle making sure he is able to continue to grow as his own person rather than just being absorbed into the two of us. I specifically said become a new relationship rather than join ours because for this to work I think we would need to look at it as a new relationship rather than him joining ours or it would be doomed from the beginning. But it is impossible, and i would never want to ignore the 14 years me and my bf already have between us. At what point do we share the parts of our life with a new person that we already shared with each other?
Practically speaking me and the boyfriend basically have completely merged our finances and basically everything about our lives. When and how does that happen with this new person. I know it would be a while I'm not trying to say we do all this immediately I'm just going over so much in my head right now. My brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure out all of this stuff.
All of this stuff aside how do you even know if a newly out bisexual person is emotionally ready to handle a relationship like this?
Please forgive my rambling I just just vomited up all of my words onto my keyboard right now because there's a million things going through my head but any input advice or suggestions anyone might have would be appreciated.
TLDR: Previously monogamous bi/gay male couple starting to fall for a friend. Friend is newly out as bi with little life and relationship experience. All so new. Stream of consciousness word dump.