I want to first say that I am new to this, and have been nervous about posting here or anywhere else.
I dated my wife throughout most of High School, and we married our freshman year in college. We just recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past Spring. We have been monogamous our entire marriage. Throughout, however, I have always felt the need to have a couple to a few very close friends. I have almost always ended up developing very close ties (read love and infatuation) with those people during the time that their lives interacted with mine. My wife used to playfully tease me about my work spouses, or girlfriends or boyfriends...but we were monogamous and I was faithful. Eventually our lives would no longer intersect and those people weren't close any longer.
All things change with time, I still love my wife deeply (she is my oldest friend), but we have both come to personal realizations in recent months. Though I have known for a long time, I admitted to my spouse this Summer that I am not straight. I am attracted to both women and men if the conditions are right for attraction. Additionally, in reflection on past friendships, crushes, and my physical/emotional need for affection (even platonic touch) from multiple people...I am polyamorous. During this same period of discussion, my wife realized/admitted that she is aegosexual, and has struggled to want to engage in sex for quite some time. After much discussion and soul searching, we decided that our marriage needed to be redefined (in an interpersonal sense) to a platonic partnership. With that boundary shift, we have additionally opened up our relationship to allow me to seek out the emotional and physical needs that are no longer part of our relationship going forward.
I just don't exactly know how to find/befriend the people that I need. I live in a very rural and conservative state (West Virginia), and my family would not be accepting of the knowledge of me being bisexual or polyamorous. I am a 40-yr-old person who presents as male (though I have felt more in realm of non-binary for some time), who has only ever been with one woman aside from a few short relationships with girlfriends in High School. Due to the small community I live in, everyone knows everyone else's local business. Using dating apps or something similar would really be out of the question. As said in the first sentence of this post, I have been very anxious posting and/or opening up anywhere about this. I have not been able to locate any sort of polyamory network within the state of West Virginia. I am sure there are people here that are in open relationships. I just don't know how to find them. Any help or advice from others would be very much appreciated.
I dated my wife throughout most of High School, and we married our freshman year in college. We just recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this past Spring. We have been monogamous our entire marriage. Throughout, however, I have always felt the need to have a couple to a few very close friends. I have almost always ended up developing very close ties (read love and infatuation) with those people during the time that their lives interacted with mine. My wife used to playfully tease me about my work spouses, or girlfriends or boyfriends...but we were monogamous and I was faithful. Eventually our lives would no longer intersect and those people weren't close any longer.
All things change with time, I still love my wife deeply (she is my oldest friend), but we have both come to personal realizations in recent months. Though I have known for a long time, I admitted to my spouse this Summer that I am not straight. I am attracted to both women and men if the conditions are right for attraction. Additionally, in reflection on past friendships, crushes, and my physical/emotional need for affection (even platonic touch) from multiple people...I am polyamorous. During this same period of discussion, my wife realized/admitted that she is aegosexual, and has struggled to want to engage in sex for quite some time. After much discussion and soul searching, we decided that our marriage needed to be redefined (in an interpersonal sense) to a platonic partnership. With that boundary shift, we have additionally opened up our relationship to allow me to seek out the emotional and physical needs that are no longer part of our relationship going forward.
I just don't exactly know how to find/befriend the people that I need. I live in a very rural and conservative state (West Virginia), and my family would not be accepting of the knowledge of me being bisexual or polyamorous. I am a 40-yr-old person who presents as male (though I have felt more in realm of non-binary for some time), who has only ever been with one woman aside from a few short relationships with girlfriends in High School. Due to the small community I live in, everyone knows everyone else's local business. Using dating apps or something similar would really be out of the question. As said in the first sentence of this post, I have been very anxious posting and/or opening up anywhere about this. I have not been able to locate any sort of polyamory network within the state of West Virginia. I am sure there are people here that are in open relationships. I just don't know how to find them. Any help or advice from others would be very much appreciated.
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