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Old 04-11-2017, 06:10 AM
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kizmet74 kizmet74 is offline
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Hey y'all. I stumbled upon this forum looking for information about polyamory and groups that offer advice an support.

My husband and I had discussed threesomes a year or so into our relationship. We later found someone to fulfill some of our kinks. What started out as a threesome turned into a polyamorous cohabitation relationship.

We have had our ups and downs. But what relationship doesn't? My husband learned bringing someone else into the bedroom to fix a relationship doesn't work. My boyfriend learned cheating can cost a lot. And I learned second chances can be worthwhile. But after years of reevaluating, reforming, and stabilizing, we are again a happy family.

As others had posted, I too felt like I was just being greedy at first. I didn't feel it was fair to either of them that I had both of them. Now that communication has been greatly improved, I have been informed neither of them cares. They are both happy just to have me. I am perfectly fine with either or both of them finding someone else if they so choose. Just as long as they are honest and upfront about it.

So to anyone considering a poly lifestyle, it can be the worst thing, or it can be the best. Just be honest with everyone involved, especially yourself.
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Old 04-11-2017, 03:57 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings kizmet74,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you three have traveled down a sometimes rocky road, and arrived at a healthy destination. Kudos to you for sticking with it. Any questions or concerns you may have, just let us know. It is nice to have you with us.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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Old 04-11-2017, 04:51 PM
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kizmet74 kizmet74 is offline
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Thank you for the greeting.

Yes it had been a pretty bumpy ride. Lot of lessons learned. But in the long run it has strengthened the bonds between all of us.
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Old 04-11-2017, 04:53 PM
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Thumbs up

Cool beans.
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Old 04-11-2017, 08:02 PM
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Al99 Al99 is offline
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Hi, Kizmet74, welcome to the forum. I've only been here a few months but have found most folks to be friendly and helpful - with lots of sound advice and solid info. My poly situation is similar to your's - my wife asked me to open our marriage a few months ago so she could explore a renewed romantic relationship with an old college bf - so now she also has a husband and a bf, although her bf is long distance so we try to work it so that she can have an overnight a month with him. The bf and I did meet early on but we haven't talked again - but, like your guys, I think we are both ok with sharing.

Again, welcome!

Al
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Me: Al99, poly, heterosexual male, 50's
Becky: married to Al99, poly, heterosexual female, late 30's
Bouncingbetty: ldr girlfriend to Al99, poly, pansexual female, early 30's
Ben: Becky's medium-ldr bf, heterosexual male, 40's
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My Introductory Post - An Unexpected Introduction to Poly.
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Old 04-12-2017, 01:14 PM
JK40 JK40 is offline
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Hi, being new here I thought i would say hello too.

I have not yet been in a situation where I feel greedy havibg two partners. I have been in my first poly relationship since february so not long. However I have to process feelings of greed and selfishness on my part, wanting time and attention from my partner who is married and lives a long distance from me currently. I am planning to move when i can. I came to realise that i am not selfish wanting his time, if he can commit to me and his wife and family then I should have no reason to feel selfish. (And he does show everyone commitment and time etc.)

Sounds like you are all on a good path now though which is great
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Old 07-16-2018, 02:57 AM
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kizmet74 kizmet74 is offline
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Well, the brother/BF we had cheated again. Even tho all he had to do was be honest with us, he couldn't do it. His need for the excitement of a secret affairs was stronger than his love and respect of us. It's not changing the fact I know it can work. We are currently back on the lookout for another man and woman for a cohabiting, polyfidelitous roshambo.
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:56 AM
derwic derwic is offline
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You have come to the right place. Welcome!
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Old 07-16-2018, 04:47 PM
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Hi kizmet,

I'm sorry to hear that things did not work out with the guy you were with. I hope you find (a) better partner/s in the near future.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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