Hey there everyone,
I was doing some research and was looking for guidance. Recently, my husband and I (we are both men (G+G) and just got married last month but have been together for 8 years) recently we met another man (A) that we both have strong feelings for. It began as just sex but now it's becoming more than that. The thing we have found surprising is how natural and "not weird" the situation seems to be for the three of us. But it's been 2 months now and I now starting to become aware of problems that will arise in the future. We are all in our twenties (I'm actually the youngest) but (A) has never been in a relationship before and this is his first. Now that is a wonderful thing but obviously this type of arrangement is not socially acceptable yet and my husband and I are beginning to become concerned as he is getting excited and wants to tell everyone (because that is what you do when you first go out with someone you want to tell the world). We are going to talk about this but we are worried we are taking away from an experience that he is entitled to go through. On the other hand, since me and the husband have been together for such a long time we have a very established relationship and our families would never understand this. So, if he was to tell his family and such and they were understanding we don't think we would give that in return. Friends we don't mind telling and have done so but honestly the response has not been postive. Most people see our situation in the light that because we are married - we are taking advantage and using (A). I have thought about this and our intentions and I can honstly say that isn't the case because I'm worried about him and feelings and if it was just a case using him I wouldn't be concerned with this. On one hand I feel maybe we should do the responsible thing and stop this for his sake but on the other, it feels amazing and we don't want to get hurt ourselves.
I was just wondering if anyone had been in a similar cirumstance and maybe have some words of wisdom.
Cheers xx
I was doing some research and was looking for guidance. Recently, my husband and I (we are both men (G+G) and just got married last month but have been together for 8 years) recently we met another man (A) that we both have strong feelings for. It began as just sex but now it's becoming more than that. The thing we have found surprising is how natural and "not weird" the situation seems to be for the three of us. But it's been 2 months now and I now starting to become aware of problems that will arise in the future. We are all in our twenties (I'm actually the youngest) but (A) has never been in a relationship before and this is his first. Now that is a wonderful thing but obviously this type of arrangement is not socially acceptable yet and my husband and I are beginning to become concerned as he is getting excited and wants to tell everyone (because that is what you do when you first go out with someone you want to tell the world). We are going to talk about this but we are worried we are taking away from an experience that he is entitled to go through. On the other hand, since me and the husband have been together for such a long time we have a very established relationship and our families would never understand this. So, if he was to tell his family and such and they were understanding we don't think we would give that in return. Friends we don't mind telling and have done so but honestly the response has not been postive. Most people see our situation in the light that because we are married - we are taking advantage and using (A). I have thought about this and our intentions and I can honstly say that isn't the case because I'm worried about him and feelings and if it was just a case using him I wouldn't be concerned with this. On one hand I feel maybe we should do the responsible thing and stop this for his sake but on the other, it feels amazing and we don't want to get hurt ourselves.
I was just wondering if anyone had been in a similar cirumstance and maybe have some words of wisdom.
Cheers xx