Dating sites - besides OKC...

Andy4700

New member
I've been on OKC now for quite a while and have had zero luck meeting anyone poly. 99% of the women on there seem to be looking for traditional relationships. :/ I met an awesome new friend on there, but thats about it.

Anyone know of any sites more geared toward poly or open relationships?

Its getting depressing to not know where to look. :( Seems like there has to be someone for me out there.... its just finding her..... grrr
 
Andy, There are a few....but so far, OKC is the only site which is really "poly friendly", as well as highly used. I didn't like it either, personally. My wife and I have wanted to develop a site such as the one you are describing....but are currently too internet stupid to do it. :(
 
I saw one pay site for poly people, but I am guessing there are no members..... I don't like paying for such things anyway....

I had 2 "almost maybe turned into somethings" from a post I had on Craigslist once, but that streak of luck seems to have ended.

OKC seems awesome for the single person wanting a traditional mono relationship.... I am just not finding many girls to message that seem open to poly or the fact that I am married. :(

I would be all for a FREE poly dating site.
 
Trust me, I can relate. We got lucky. We met the woman we are currently dating, on OKC. Oddly enough, she said she thought she had deleted her profile from there months before I contacted her. Then, out of nowhere, I send her an e-mail. :eek: She said she thought it was weird. Then, within like 3 days, she actually DID delete her account from there. I kept mine on for a few weeks more. Then, my wife and I decided that V was the one....and I deleted my account too. I have not had any luck on Craigslist at all....other than people wanting NSA sex. (Not what I'm looking for)

My wife, on the other hand, had guys trying to date her left and right. :rolleyes: Geee....I wonder why? Then, she actually dated one...he got what he wanted, after like 3 weeks and more than a few dates, and was gone. Typical freaking scumbag. He made my wife happy for the time they were dating though, so I was supportive. I voiced my concerns, and what I saw. My wife wouldn't believe me....soooo...yeah.

Anyway, it has been my experience that on OKC, guys are USUALLY simply looking to hook up, while women are USUALLY looking for mono relationships. :rolleyes: There are a few exceptions....but...it would certainly be easier to have a site dedicated to just poly people.

The problem? Guys would use it to try to simply hook up with random women and have sex.....because, afterall, "poly women are all nympho's who cant get enough sex"....right? :rolleyes:
 
What about Lavalife? That's free, and you have three different profiles, one for serious LTR, one for casual short term, and one for sex only. Plus I think they have some chat rooms, if I recall. It's a huge site, so maybe because of the sheer numbers, and the different categorizations, there might be more chance of meeting poly-friendly folk.

Oh, and BTW, I'm interested in seeing if poly works for me, and joined OKC to meet poly men, but I don't mention the words poly or polyamorous in my OKC profile. Women do have to be more cautious. There may be a chick on OKC for you, but it's just harder to find them.
 
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okc is the best. Its 100% regional for how useful it is. i live in a strong poly area, so matches are easy to find. Other regions might not be as good.

There is a polyscentric dating site. I disliked it. Anyone who I would have been curious about wasn't "active" anyone who was no where near my type was. Can't remember the site of course...I found it beyond useless.

have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.
 
I have not tried Lavalife. I will take a peek.

Yes.... I always wonder if there is some woman on OKC that isn't familiar with Poly, but would actually like what I am wanting.... :/ The situation I seek is kinda fluid.. and I can't help be think maybe there is a girl around here that isn't wanting a regular relationship, but would enjoy having someone stable for a longterm-ish casual relationship.... But how do I find her? Grrrr It sucks....
 
have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.

No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.
 
No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.

You might have to do some googling. :)

The percentage of "matches" that occur for monogamous people on dating sites is a very low number. Add the complication of non-monogamy and you will see there is a vast challenge. Meeting people locally, first, will always work out better imo. Unless you live in a hot bed of poly that is.

I assume you have joined this group

http://www.mnpoly.org/

to see if there are other alternatives for you in your area.

sometimes, unless you want to do long distance, online is not the best place to find people :)
 
I met someone on OKC, after being on there for months. Comparing our experiences on the site, she would get messages all the time, I had trouble getting anyone to reply to mine. Fairly typical male/female experience difference that's been talked about here, before. I finally deleted my OKC account in frustration, recently. Still good friends with the woman, although the dating part of our relationship ended...long story. So it wasn't a total waste of time for me, but one good result in 10 months is a lot of work for little return.

There's also PolyMatchMaker, for a poly-specific dating site, but the pool of active members seems small. http://www.polymatchmaker.com
 
I've got an active profile on okcupid - I've just been selective in who I answer when I get messaged. I also only approach folks who have in their profiles that they are poly, or have answered the question if they are looking for an open marriage/relationship the same way I have. most of the folks who match in the high 90's range with me seem to be on the same page with me relationship-wise.

That being said: I've met one guy in person, who I think could turn into a neat friendship, but not likely anything more. And that's fine with me. I've also chatted with two other folks who I hope to facilitate a real life meeting with soon. I'm not even necessarily looking for any additional lovers at this point - just other poly friends who I can talk to and are understanding of my non-traditional mindset. :)

BTW - I am female and straight. Just for data collecting purposes. ;)
 
It's the same for us girls!

I met someone on OKC, after being on there for months. Comparing our experiences on the site, she would get messages all the time, I had trouble getting anyone to reply to mine. Fairly typical male/female experience difference that's been talked about here, before. I finally deleted my OKC account in frustration, recently.

I was OKC for months trying to meet friends after moving to a new area and even as a woman I had the same problem with women not responding to my messages very often and never was I ever approached by a woman. Darn gender conditioning! ;)
 
Yep, I have seen that thread. But thanks for mentioning it again.

The MNpoly group I don't know about. I hate things you have to pay first to see whats inside. Maybe there is 400 active members. Maybe 4 horny guys. I have no idea. Typically I feel if you have to pay, most people won't bother. Same with dating sites.

I guess I will just keep dreamin and pluggin along. I just thought maybe there was somewhere else I could look.
 
I feel your pain with OKC. It's rather difficult finding anyone on there. However, I have found a way that makes it a little easier. Basically, when I look at someone's profile, I go to the questions they've answered. There's one that says "Would you ever consider becoming involved in a long term three person relationship?" And if they say "yes" and I like their profile, I might message them. I know it sounds a little far to go maybe with looking, but myself, I don't like rejection or judgement, so the easier I can feel about sending a message, the better. And it helps filter out all those people who seem to think we are some kind of freaks or something. Anyway, I hope this helps a little!!
 
I feel your pain with OKC. It's rather difficult finding anyone on there. However, I have found a way that makes it a little easier. Basically, when I look at someone's profile, I go to the questions they've answered. There's one that says "Would you ever consider becoming involved in a long term three person relationship?" And if they say "yes" and I like their profile, I might message them. I know it sounds a little far to go maybe with looking, but myself, I don't like rejection or judgement, so the easier I can feel about sending a message, the better. And it helps filter out all those people who seem to think we are some kind of freaks or something. Anyway, I hope this helps a little!!
I used to do that also. And if I REALLY thought they were good looking or a good match, and they said "NO" to that question, I would message them anyway.
 
Well I read some reviews on lavalife. Sounds like a dud - have to pay to message people unless you're a woman, filled with fake profiles, mostly popular in Canada ect.

I have checked a lot of OKC question answers. There are several that hint at the idea of open relationships. Most women respond in a negative fashion towards them. Many don't answer enough questions to even get to those.
I find a lot of my higher match percentages just haven't answered many questions. "Hey I match her 98%... wait... she only answered 32 questions..."

I kinda of think my best chances on OKC are in someone that doesn't know they would be open to a 3 person relationship because it has never come up in their lives. I look at how many people are willing to have an affair with a married person.... If I meet someone as a friend and there is attraction, possibly they will be willing to go further if they know it all okay. Possibly....

I know poly comes in many flavors, but what I want is pretty "softcore" meaning I am not looking for a live-in or a triad or anything. I just want a somewhat casual, easy relationship with heavy emphasis on the friends connection, not on the sex.

It could last 6 months or 6 years. I have set expectations I won't bend on, but I am somewhat open to sort of "be what someone else needs" too.

Maybe she is only in town for the school year and wants someone stable without getting into a deep, serious relationship. Maybe shes a single mother who wants to focus on raising her kids and not trying to manage a relationship, yet would still enjoy someone close in her life. Maybe shes just out of a long relationship and wants someone close while still having the freedom to date Mr. Right if he comes around. I am pretty open to how I could fit into somones life that isn't aware/into the poly lifestyle. I am of course very open to a woman with a primary also.

Ugg, I better head to work.... thanks for letting me vent/ramble... I am a little frustrated.
 
I am open to a LDR. I have searched for polies on OKC on a 500 mile radius or so. I hate to look so far out we could never meet though. I highly doubt I am going to be the reason a west coast dweller wants to move to this arctic wasteland...... :/
 
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