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Old 04-03-2010, 03:16 AM
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irishjack irishjack is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: saint john, nb, canada
Posts: 5

such an encouragement to find people who've been here before. redpepper, i admire your forthrightness greatly and hope it all comes round in a way you guys can handle eventually. i've just left my beautiful, loving wife over this ideology and it's brutal. trying to hang in there and be true to what i know i am. you have given me strength. thankyou.

novisse et notus esse; amare et amari.
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Old 04-05-2010, 07:39 AM
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classycaveman classycaveman is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 82

Yeah, I'll probably be dealing with this stuff too someday. I'm slowly structuring my life so that I eventually won't have to interact with my parents anymore, because when the time comes that they want to know the real me, there's going to be a lot of frustration on their side, and I don't want to have to deal with it. I've had enough of that already.

It was interesting reading through those questions. I actually laughed when I read the first one about whether your son knew who his daddy was.

When thinking about things like this I find it helpful to reframe the issue in a context where monogamy is examined with the same type of question.

In particular...

2. What does your husband think about you having another male partner?
How does a monogamous couple deal with feelings they have for people outside of their relationship?
4. Is your son seeing too much sexual affection happening in his home? and if so, how is that affecting him?
I'll assume he's only seeing affection appropriate for public display... Is a boy in a monogamous home seeing enough?
8. How will you ensure that you are giving your son enough of your time?
LOL this seems to be a more appropriate question for a home with responsibilities shared by only 2 adults, or a single parent.
11. How is polyamory benefiting your relationship with your husband?
How does monogamy benefit a relationship?
12. Is it a legitimate option for you and your family? and how?
Is monogamy a legitimate option for your family? How?

I mean the questions are already pretty ridiculous, but I think this just makes that point a little clearer. I'll leave you with a quote I like a lot:

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

Arthur Schopenhauer
German philosopher (1788 - 1860)

My guess is that the statement "polyamory is good and natural" is somewhere between stage one and two.
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Old 04-06-2010, 04:34 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 149

As I often have been, I'm grateful to all who post their journey on this site. Reading yours RP, gives me hope, hope that the people I love can also learn to accept me. At this point, I don't see it happening, but I'm allowing myself to hope, giving things time.
Thank you
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Old 04-06-2010, 05:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,733

This is the rest of the story... much changed now. It was interesting to read this through again... I'm so glad we are moving on slowly and that things are changing for them and as a result us...
My blog
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coming out and kids, coming out polyamorous, poly questions, polyamory and children, polyamory and kids

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