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  #1  
Old 06-07-2014, 02:21 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Default Poly Speed Dating!

I just heard about a Poly Speed Dating event being held in my neck of the woods, and I was curious if anyone had ever been to one before. As soon as I heard about it, I signed up because I'm super curious, but now I'm kind of having an "Oh, shit. What did I get myself into?!" kind of moment.

Anyone ever heard of or been to one of these? I know they have (or have had) them in the Bay Area, Boston, and a few other locations.

The way it was explained to me is that it is very similar to traditional speed dating except more complex. Shocking, right? I had to fill out a questionnaire about gender preferences (how I identify as well as whether or not I'm interested in male/female/trans/etc), relationship style preferences (am I only interested in solo men, solo women, couples of various configuration, groups, etc), whether or not I'm kinky, and whether or not I'm okay with "friend" dates if there aren't enough people who fit my relationship preferences to have a date each round. At the beginning of the event, they give each person a number and a list of who (or maybe where?) there dates will be.

The algorithm itself intrigues me, because they didn't really ask anything other than basic preferences. No questions about interests, ethics (other than we are at a poly event, so I guess it's assumed everyone is okay with poly - but that's pretty vague), goals, primary-secondary model or not, or anything like that. I wonder how successful it will actually be at matching people who are compatible past the bare essentials.

So, yes. This was my rambling, and if anyone has something to contribute, that would be awesome!
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  #2  
Old 06-07-2014, 01:27 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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I've been twice. However I've never done 'traditional' speed dating so can't compare that. I enjoyed it. It's pretty goofy. Nothing significant came out of it but i was glad I tried it. I would do so sgain.
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  #3  
Old 06-08-2014, 11:21 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Doesn't sound like my type of thing - as I tend to need to be friends with someone before I would know if I was interested in "dating" them...but I am curious how it works out.

Do please come back and let us know how it worked!

JaneQ
__________________
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost ex-lover-friend, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS; live-in with Katniss
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #4  
Old 06-19-2014, 05:31 AM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Default Post-Speed Dating Update!

So, I went to speed dating the other day...

The event itself went great. It got off to a bit of a late start, due to working out a few bugs in the system, but other than that it was smooth sailing (as far as I know - I talked to one of the organizers right as the event was ending and he seemed more giddy/adrenaline fading frazzled than "oh-shit-what-just-happened" frazzled... haha).

There were 12 rounds. I had dates for all but one, so that was good, I guess. Another break would have been nice since I needed to pee! lol A guy I know only had 4 dates the entire time, and the couples I met said they only had 3-4 dates as well, but that's overall not TERRIBLE, I suppose. Next time they are going to open it up to a larger number of people, too. The organizers didn't expect as great of a turnout and booked a smaller venue than they should have. Turns out lots of people are interested in poly speed dating!

A summary of my evening:

I showed up, stood in line for a few minutes to get checked in. Talked to a really friendly woman in line, which was fun. I got a ticket to save a bit on a drink since I arrived a bit early, that was nice! After I'd gotten checked in, I went over and chatted with a few people I already knew. My friend showed up then and I stood in line with her until she got checked in. Met up with another friend and caught up real quick before the speed dating actually started. The pre-dating part was supposed to be spent mingling... I used it to just catch up. My bad.

For the dating part, we all get sheets listing table numbers and the usernames of our date. I had to move a few times - twice I got to stay at the same table for two dates in a row. It wasn't too hectic, they had the tables very clearly marked, good to go. The thing I found weird (but I've never been to speed dating) is that they recommended spending 3 minutes having one person talk/lead conversation then switching! Who does that?! Every single date I was on, we just conversed normally and ignored the announcer guy.

After each round, I marked yes or no to interest and then went to the next table. Others saved their judgements for the end of the night, but I wanted to do it while impressions were fresh in my mind. I ended up having 5 matches, which I thought was pretty awesome! I've actually already heard from two (well, one individual and one couple ).

The club had a DJ in a separate area and stuff, so some people stayed to mingle some more. I was tired and had to work the next day so I went home.

I definitely like it was worth it and would encourage people to check it out. It is a large group, but the majority of the time you're focused on just one or two other people which makes it easier to handle for introverts (like me). Assuming I'm not 100% polysaturated when the next poly speed dating event happens, I'll probably go so I can drag Hubby there. Overall, I give it a thumbs up.
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  #5  
Old 06-19-2014, 11:37 AM
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baratheon1487 baratheon1487 is offline
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I think I would try it. I am a bit shy at times, so I'm nervous that might make me look bad. Lol
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  #6  
Old 06-19-2014, 03:27 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baratheon1487 View Post
I think I would try it. I am a bit shy at times, so I'm nervous that might make me look bad. Lol
A lot of people were obviously nervous and shy. It actually helps with shyness since you're only talking to 1-2 people at a time. For some reason, poly seems to be full of introverts so you find quite a few others that can relate, too.
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  #7  
Old 06-19-2014, 03:44 PM
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baratheon1487 baratheon1487 is offline
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That's not too bad I suppose. Lol
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  #8  
Old 06-19-2014, 11:20 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
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Thanks for letting us know how it went. I think i could do it- if I were in the right mood. I'm an introvert and large crowds make me anxious...but I think I would do well with a structured set-up and I do better one-on-one...so this could work. (Although I consider myself "poly-saturated" I have not ruled out the possibility of a new partner.).
__________________
JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost ex-lover-friend, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS; live-in with Katniss
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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