More descriptive terms for metamours

Amanita

New member
Hi all,

I was wondering whether any of you have discovered/invented other ways to describe or name the relationships you have with your metamours? 'Metamour' seems to be a very functional term to me - it describes the position of both parties in a relationship, but doesn't really say anything about what kind of relationship you have with each other. Daedalea and I have been talking about this, because we all signed up to FetLife recently and there simply isn't a category for for us (they don't even use metamour over there). So she and Astraeus can describe themselves as being polyamorous with each other, but there's no way for she and I to indicate the special relationship we have with each other.

To clarify, we have a deep, loving, adventurous and at times hilarious friendship with each other that is based not only on our mutual love for Astraeus but also on the fact that we have a lot in common anyway (we probably would have become friends even if there hadn't been anything with Astraeus). The other day we described it as a sort of combination of friendship and sisterhood, which made us think of sister-wives (without the religious connotations). I think we are pretty much everything just short of being in a triad, really. Up till now she's been describing me as her sweetie's wife with whom she gets on very well, and I've been calling her my husband's sweetie who I love dearly too, but we'd like something a bit simpler, naturally :p

Any thoughts, ideas or own inventions?

Amanita
:)
 
I've heard things like co-wives and co-husbands but that implies a) a marriage-like relationship for both relationships mentioned and b) that the two metamours are the same gender. Although I guess co-spouse would fix the latter, and co-partner might fix both?
 
"I have a close, loving, independent realtionship with my metamour"
 
No I haven't really. Friend is a good one

Too many labels in this corporate polyamory. I will stick to the simple ones.

Ironically I used to be a label maker. Much simpler now
 
When nate was with Jane I just called her nates girlfriend if I was referencing their relationship. If referencing my relationship with her id call her my friend. All others have been "the chick nate is fooling around with" I don't consider his fuck buddies as my metamores. I've never even met most of them unless its the ones who he met through me but I again would refer them as friends if im describing my relationship with them
 
We've come up against this issue too. My boyfriend's wife and I are very close friends but the terminology is tough. She's not my best friend or sister; those roles are taken. Girlfriend implies a sexual relationship which isn't the case. Friend isn't enough. Sister wife is closest but implies religious aspects so what to use?? So far we say my boyfriend's wife or husband's girlfriend but that doesn't show our close friendship. Ugh!
 
If you want to get more complicated, my BF and his wife are separated but live together. We aren't friends. So what the heck are we? lol
 
I usually use their name. If I need to describe the relationship, then "friend" if they are my friend. If they aren't my friend, I don't have a reason to describe their relationship except on this board generally. In that case, it's back to a name and titles are avoided.

But-I find titles very difficult most of the time. Particularly because GG and I have filtered through SO MANY roles in each others lives and sometimes by the day...

Currently we are broken up in the sense that we are not sexually involved at all (and haven't been for months). But we are still roommates, coparents and we still love each other. We're still friends... but to use one of those labels suggests to other people what we WILL be and that is undefinable. So I just call him GG.
 
Fetlife has the option of being "in a poly family (or group?)" with someone. That's what an ex of mine had as his relationship status to hubby at one point. They were fairly close for a while.
 
Butch calls Murf..... Murf.
 
Labels are tricky and ever-evolving. I was involved with a couple. The the wife eventually wanted me out. I was away from them for a year when they separated. The male and I are reforming our relationship. Given his instability as he grapples with the divorce process, the grief we both experienced when the wife ended it, we had a hard time deciding how to define ourselves. Bf and gf? Nope. Too far too fast. Friends. It is what I use because the former doesn't yet seem appropriate. However, friend doesn't cover the depth of our mutual experiences. I finally got so tired of trying to fit our relationship into a societal mold, none of which is quite right, that I quit worrying about it.

I call him my friend. When more explanation is warranted, then I elaborate.
 
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