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  #121  
Old 08-18-2016, 06:57 PM
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Good.

I hope it's smooth sailing from now on!
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  #122  
Old 08-18-2016, 07:35 PM
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I am both surprised and HAPPY to read all of this new stuff!

*hugs!* I hope that everything goes well for you all.

I think that once the baby is a reality, not an idea, that she would actually adapt pretty well. That's how it is with babies. You think about it, and it's like "oh my god, I'm not ready for that!" But then you have one and it's something you just adapt to and find ways to make life work.

My thinking that was...disheartening...was that she would either stand firm or swing back to a negative position on it, and that:
a.) You'd be unlikely to stand your ground against her
b.) If you did, simply due to being forced to accept something she didn't want to, she'd be hell to live with (or make trouble in your life and/or Wolf's.)

That a hostile standoff with her could only end in you leaving. That's what I thought. Well I am very, VERY glad she had a change of heart.

Honestly even if she realized what she'd lose in terms of your help and grudgingly decided that it's worth it to "let" you have the baby, just to keep you in the picture and helping...that isn't the most pleasant thing to contemplate RIGHT NOW but I would bet that once Baby #4 is actually around, she'd catch the feels, and realize it's not so scary, and relax.

I would think. I would hope.
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  #123  
Old 08-18-2016, 07:45 PM
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LittleSingingBat LittleSingingBat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spork View Post
I think that once the baby is a reality, not an idea, that she would actually adapt pretty well. That's how it is with babies. You think about it, and it's like "oh my god, I'm not ready for that!" But then you have one and it's something you just adapt to and find ways to make life work.
I think that too! Lord knows I thought, "no way I can take care of twins and a toddler," but when it came time to do it, I found the strength and the heart to do it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spork View Post
...That a hostile standoff with her could only end in you leaving. That's what I thought. Well I am very, VERY glad she had a change of heart.
I think it's a testament to how much Lioness and I care for each other, and especially how much she and I both care for Wolf. Apparently, we'd both had thoughts of "Maybe I should leave so that they can be happy together."

And I'm so glad she had a change of heart too. And on her own!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spork View Post
Honestly even if she realized what she'd lose in terms of your help and grudgingly decided that it's worth it to "let" you have the baby, just to keep you in the picture and helping...that isn't the most pleasant thing to contemplate RIGHT NOW but I would bet that once Baby #4 is actually around, she'd catch the feels, and realize it's not so scary, and relax.

I would think. I would hope.
And you're right, it could just be a matter of "how can I get Bat to help? Fine, if it takes letting her have a baby then okay," (which would be kind of sad, but even that is a step better than "you can take care of my babies but I won't even 'let' you have one!")

But that's not the feeling I get. I get the impression that Lioness is just under a lot of stress and can't imagine adding to her load right now. I really feel that, when the time comes, she'll "catch the feels" as you said, and relax, and fall in love with my baby the way I've fallen in love with hers.
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advice needed, boundary negotiation, boundary setting, co-parenting, couples privilege, ffm triad, marriage with girlfriend, married couples, poly with children, pregnancy, triad, triad breaking down, triad dynamics

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