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Old 05-05-2012, 10:33 PM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
Posts: 97
Default Poly & Pregnancy

Both Nathan & I have decided that we would like to have a child together. It is something that is very important to him, and we both agree that it would be nice for Max to have a sibling at some point. The timing is not right at the moment as I'm finishing up a teachers degree, but we have both agreed that we will try within two years.

My question is........has anyone any experience with this. It would have to be Nathan that was the Father and there is no way that we could have it any other way.

How did you go about it, and how did it work out in the long run.

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Old 05-05-2012, 11:41 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906

We are considering baby-making right now. The one candidate we have approached to make this happen with us lives very far away, so our baby-making attempts should be timed PERFECTLY. As if there wasn't enough stress as it is . (Oh, and when I say right now, it means that the potential baby person might come along in two years or so).

There are several hurdles to cross before getting to babies: my female partner smokes, and I drink ridiculous amounts of coffee. We've made a plan to get rid of our habits and to seek treatment individually and together for our mental & emotional situation to make our home welcoming and safe for a new person. The exact details of the male parent's possible involvement are fuzzy still, but he is such an awesome person that I'm sure anything he comes up with will be just great!

I suggest you take a look at the Poly and Children thread, where there is discussion around this issue (getting pregnant in a poly config). I vaguely remember posting a series of questions to ask yourself if you're planning to start a non-normative family from scratch.

Our/my biggest concern is the stress possible infertility or it's opposite, twin pregnancies, will put on our relationship. Also, I have requested that we cease all possibly-baby making activities with other male partners for until our desired number of children is there or we have given up trying.

I don't trust contraception since it hasn't worked for me, and there is a limited amount of contraceptives you can use while you are breastfeeding. I don't want to wonder who our baby's father really is.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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Old 05-06-2012, 05:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Have you done a search on this? Here are some related threads you might enjoy reading:

Children and Polyamory

Raising Children In Poly Families?

Polyamory paused by pregnancy/child

Babies and changes in poly
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 05-06-2012 at 05:49 AM.
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Old 05-06-2012, 05:49 AM
Aurelie26 Aurelie26 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
Posts: 97

Thanks ladies.
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