Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

Good point, vandalin. I have been thinking on that. My parents are just coming around, so I don't want to push it. I think when we all live together, then we will tell them. Some of the particulars involve our house and the use of it if we die. I would want to explain all our reasoning around all that first and when they see our plan in action.

Of course, if they ask, then I will tell them the whole thing. They looked after our boy when we were there and know what we were doing.
 
Thankful

I just want to say how happy I am that Nerdist is going to be able to come visit me and that I'm feeling more recovered from surgery to have a guest.

I'm so, so touched that Mono is going to be lending RP and their son his truck so that Nerdist can take their car. Thank you so much. I feel very loved and supported. I feel a bit bad that I am not physically there with the family and am not in the position to return favours like childcare. Hopefully, sending back a rested, happy Nerdist is good. :)
 
A rested happy Nerdist is the best gift ever. :) There is a lot to be thankful for in our little world. The time we spend with those we love is precious. He's really happy to be going, and as much as we will miss him, we know you both will have a great time, as will we, knowing those we care about are enjoying their time together. :)
 
So, is this success and happiness? I don't know....

Tonight we all ate dinner together. Derby came over, the kids played, it was lovely. It has been a tough few days where my edges are frayed and I feel like I am spinning my wheels. I needed a nice time with those I hold dear.

I have been getting really frustrated with Nerdist about the business of moving in together. He hasn't been quick to tell me what is going on for him (preoccupied and hasn't thought of it as a prime focus), and I have been waiting so long for SOMETHING to move forward.

We got to the bottom of it tonight, Nerdist, Mono and I. He just isn't ready to say yes and isn't ready to be ready for that yes, if it ever comes. At least now I know. There is some success and happiness in that, but I am no further ahead in what I need, and that is the disappointment and frustration.

I need, at this point, to not be traveling back and forth between homes. I need to be in a house where we are all together, especially with my child. I need my own space in the form of my own room.

Okay, I realize these things are a luxury and a lot to ask, but I lay there on the couch listening to the two of them talk and all I could think about was, "I wonder if I should sleep on the couch tonight, so I will be able to hum to myself under the blanket like I did when I was a kid," and, "Oh, that dreadful feeling of having to say goodbye to Mono yet again, why does that never go away?" I feel as if I NEED these things at this point!

Otherwise, I will have to think of other ways to get these needs met. Perhaps my own place is a better option after all. Or perhaps it's late and my emotions are running high. It has been a common thought for me during the last few months, however. Perhaps I have this all wrong and have been waiting for nothing and should take another path? At least it would cover some of my needs.
 
There is always success in communication, love. I don't think there would be much happiness in going from living with one partner to living with none, though. At least there wouldn't be for me. You guys are a package deal. :)
 
Redpepper, I know there's been some stress for all of you and would like to offer support. I thought you enjoyed having an OH and didn't want to give up having a special place where you are treated as a queen? But, maybe what you mean is that you would like to have that OH be right next door?

Are you eager to have your own room?

I agree with Mono, having good communication that gets you even a teensy bit further along is a success. But, it sounds like you need things to move more quickly along.

I was under the impression that the three of you were all decided and the next step was deciding whether to renovate or move and how to figure it out financially.

I tend to want to make impulsive decisions when my emotions are running high, so yes, maybe you will feel differently. But, I'm wondering, were you considering moving into your own place entirely? That's what it sounded like and I'm surprised.

I only know bits of it all and I'm not completely involved, but I care about all of you and if I can be of any help, I'm here.
 
Hey, this thread is about happiness. Take the sad stuff somewhere else. This thread is for stuff like:

Polynerdist is excited to be going to visit Rolypoly for the weekend. He was beaming when I picked Redpepper up for the poly meeting tonight. We are glad he is going on an adventure with you, Roly. You're a kind heart and have nice energy. :) We will stay here and play house. ;)

OK, so everyone has got it right, happiness and success.
 
Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, Mono. It's going to be a wonderful weekend!!

I'll take my concern elsewhere. ;)
 
He's decided he does not want Mono to move in, roly. He doesn't feel good about saying yes to that. He has struggled for years with change. Total fear takes over. I have waited years for a room of my own to somehow transpire. Avoiding the topic altogether about housing is the best bet right now. I couldn't live on my own. I have a child I won't leave and I would miss Nerdist. I'm stuck and feeling trapped right now, like a horse in its stall wanting a green pasture to roam in. It's all good. I will get through and will wait for a new moment when it makes sense somehow what to do next. That will come. That makes me happy. :)

Just for the record, I love my OH. But yes, I would love it more if it were in the lower suite of our house, so I could have a room in it and wouldn't ever have to say good bye to Mono again. Goodnight, maybe, but not good bye. I am happy that I can be with him at the OH at all. I am happy I have two homes. I just need to get over my transition issues and feeling like I am abandoning my child and it will all be good. :)

Sorry, Mono. Had to do some filling in. All in a happy way :)

Happiness? I get a *me* weekend, kind of. Of course I completely filled it up with fun stuff, cause that is what I do. I'm hanging with Derby and a bunch of poly women Saturday, as we are watching her roller derby game and then watching a movie at my house and having a potluck dinner. Thought we would watch "Splendor." The boy and Mono and I are going to start making a guinea pig hutch outside. We need to keep them warm. That will be the biggest part of the project. Guinea pigs make me happy. :) Maybe I will live with them, all cozy and warm.:)
 
Just a quick one

Polynerdist is back from his visit with RolyPoly. I had a great time with Redpepper and their son, but it was nice to see him walk in the door tonight. I realized just how much I missed him. There is something about his presence that makes me feel comfortable and confident in what I have with Redpepper. It's like his smile reminds me that I am a positive in all their lives. :)

I believe he had a great visit, though. Thanks for taking care of our Nerdist, Rolypoly. :D
 
I am slowly, slowly settling into some kind of routine with Nerdist that works for us, so far. Tuesday nights are roly nights (on the phone), so I'm very happy about that.

So much to sort out with everyone, yet. But so far, despite how difficult some aspects of it are, the times we do get to connect ground me and remind me what I really care about. It takes work to stay connected, while making sure others get their connections and commitments.

It's looking like I will be able to come camping for at least two nights with everyone, so I'm happy about that. :)
 
I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around having to come back to work on Friday. Somehow I think it's going to be a ghost town around here!
 
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