Good day all,
I need help. My boyfriend and I have been in a a rocky, monogamous relationship for 4years. The thing that causes the rockiness is he cheats. He feels he isn't because he has expressed his need to have 2 women to me although do not agree. What need help with is understanding if he is polyamory or just selfish...I think I can accept one but not the other.
I've read alot on polyamory and I feel he is not. He talks of needing someone else while I am away to visit my family and terminally ill father. I'm never gone more than a week and he's more than welcome to come but doesn't want to. He also feels this way when I go on business trips again only a week. If I am not with him constantly meeting his needs, he says he needs another woman...however,if I neglect me to give to him and meet his needs, he's content. Until my father got ill, I only traveled 2 to 3 weeks out of year. My boyfriend is hypersexual needing sex every day and multiple times in a day...not sure good matters but it's info. Is this a typical of polyamory to need another person while your partner is away? I try to explain an losing out to when I'm away but he doesn't care to hear that.
He says he has always wanted 2 women and has ruined his marriage and several relationships because of his desire to have 2 women...however, he does not want the women to have other men. I feel like an object and in his eyes, I'm only here to serve him. As long as I'm perfect, we have no problems but I'm human and get sick, tired, etc.
I do know he likes redundancy and is afraid of being alone. I know from his childhood, he has abandonment issues. He is also controlling with me and his daughters... It's his way or no way...although oddly,he thinks I'm controlling when all I ever do is ask him what he wants.
Is this online with polyamory? From what I read,it doesn't sound like it.
I love him but confused on what he is. If it's polyamory, I may be able to accept it. If he's just a jerk, then I have a decision to make.
By the way, did I mention he's deceitful too even when confronted with pics, he denies it.
Any help or ideas out there?
I need help. My boyfriend and I have been in a a rocky, monogamous relationship for 4years. The thing that causes the rockiness is he cheats. He feels he isn't because he has expressed his need to have 2 women to me although do not agree. What need help with is understanding if he is polyamory or just selfish...I think I can accept one but not the other.
I've read alot on polyamory and I feel he is not. He talks of needing someone else while I am away to visit my family and terminally ill father. I'm never gone more than a week and he's more than welcome to come but doesn't want to. He also feels this way when I go on business trips again only a week. If I am not with him constantly meeting his needs, he says he needs another woman...however,if I neglect me to give to him and meet his needs, he's content. Until my father got ill, I only traveled 2 to 3 weeks out of year. My boyfriend is hypersexual needing sex every day and multiple times in a day...not sure good matters but it's info. Is this a typical of polyamory to need another person while your partner is away? I try to explain an losing out to when I'm away but he doesn't care to hear that.
He says he has always wanted 2 women and has ruined his marriage and several relationships because of his desire to have 2 women...however, he does not want the women to have other men. I feel like an object and in his eyes, I'm only here to serve him. As long as I'm perfect, we have no problems but I'm human and get sick, tired, etc.
I do know he likes redundancy and is afraid of being alone. I know from his childhood, he has abandonment issues. He is also controlling with me and his daughters... It's his way or no way...although oddly,he thinks I'm controlling when all I ever do is ask him what he wants.
Is this online with polyamory? From what I read,it doesn't sound like it.
I love him but confused on what he is. If it's polyamory, I may be able to accept it. If he's just a jerk, then I have a decision to make.
By the way, did I mention he's deceitful too even when confronted with pics, he denies it.
Any help or ideas out there?