Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

On a map EVERYTHING is close together! lol On a map it looks like a hop, skip and jump to Australia, but it ain't! It looks like a quick walk from Ontario to BC, but it ain't! Last time I flew from Ontario to NV it was a one hour flight to PA with a 2 hour layover. Then I think it was a 5 hour flight to NV from there!

One of these years I'll make it out that way again. I haven't been to BC since I was 18, for Expo '86, where we weren't too enthralled with the food vendors. (When a hot dog vendor runs out of dogs and a coffee stand runs out of creamer, you KNOW it wasn't properly coordinated.)
 
Albany isn't THAT far from Ontario, Canada, lol. At least it's on the same coast!

Oh, you are absolutely right, Breathesgirl. I was in a conference in Ottawa in October. But I thought the camping group was in BC, and that is a great distance!

Actually, one of the men I'm seeing is from Ontario, so perhaps someday...
 
A little like the old days

Redpepper, Polynerdist, their son and I just had a tasty meal cooked by PN. I'll be watching over my little buddy tonight so PN can go to a Shambala meditation and Redpepper can get out for a nice long walk with her friend that she hasn't seen in almost seven weeks. Luckily, our two families will soon be going camping, which has almost become tradition. :)

PN was in a good mood and seems a lot less vulnerable than he has been of late. Needless to say, his happiness adds to mine. :D
 
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I'm actually going out with my non-sexual boyfriend tonight (NSB). I am looking foreward to it, as it is a beautiful night and our city is so gorgeous to walk in. I wish I felt better though, as I still am dragging around due to some kind of summer cold. Shaking it off and getting ready for a long talk and re-connection.
 
My little brother and his family are in town for a couple of days. It's nice to have a bit of a visit, although I'm sad that I can't take any extra time off work. :( Ah well, I shall simply enjoy their company in the evenings.

-Derby
 
From my Blog

I was requested to I copy this piece from my blog over here. I guess it does qualify as success and happiness. :D


I just have to say how amazing it is to have my husband back! And really back, not kinda back. We had problems for years and slapped band-aids on it and moved on. Moving to Maryland kind of caused all the band-aids to fall off and pieces of us as a couple to go with them.

So tonight, Karma and I had a small talk about things, like why he isn't having sex with g/f, just b/c I asked. Given his track record, me asking him not to doesn't mean much.

He said it was b/c he remembered how amazing we were together. How great our relationship could be, and he wanted that back. So he was trying to earn back my trust, b/c we work better that way. Without it, part of us gets lost.

I am married to the most amazing man. I wish I could record it and every time someone nastily asks why I am still here, and why I put up with it, I want to play the recording. I want scream, this is why! B/c we've both made some pretty big mistakes, but our love held us together, our love helped us forgive and learn from those mistakes, and our love is worth any battle.

I was reading an old journal I found yesterday and was amazed at how unhappy I was, and how I managed to forget. Every page was about a fight, or feeling unloved, neglected. Like I was living with a careless roommate instead of a husband. I cried when I read that on our anniversary in 2009 we didn't kiss all day! We went to dinner with his parents, came home and went our seperate ways!

Dear Goddess, no wonder we fell apart! Not even a kiss on our damn anniversary? And that was before he met g/f, so at that time the affairs were flings. But obviously, we were broken.

Now I have my husband back. I hope he feels like he has his wife back. I hope he knows how much this means to me, how grateful I am that we chose to rebuild, instead of walk away. I know he loves me, just by saying it. I believe it again. I hope he knows how much I appreciate the patience and care he has given me the last few months, and will continue to give as we walk through this. I married an amazing man, I am so blessed, and my heart is just swelling with love tonight.

There's a quote from an old Waylon Jennings song "Goodhearted Woman, Goodtiming Man" "With teardrops and laughter they pass through this world hand in hand."

So true. I love you, Karma! More today than ever. Thank you!
 
Can I put poly comedy in here?

Pengrah had a funny thing happen yesterday at work. She received 3 texts in succession. Her co-worker ask if she were having an affair. She told her: "Well, the first text was from my husband, the second from my bf and the third from my husband's girlfriend's husband."

She got quite a chuckle out of it, not to mention it opened up dialog between the two about jealousy.
 
"well the first text is from my husband, the second from my bf and the third from my husbands girlfriends husband"

That honestly made my day.

Success story, since I have been dealing with my own issues of jealousy. New to poly and all that rewiring of my brain stuff. Preface being I had always had the guideline, still do, that I don't want to know about the physical intimacy side of things with Mr. A and TP. To this end, I am actually not too bad with dealing with feelings of it. Like I said: shower TP off, remark my territory and the emotional intimacy I am working on.. Peaks and valleys with how I feel about it.

Anyhoo, success story time. Let TP have an overnight with Mr. A.

One of the rules is that it is okayed, or offered only, since it pretty much constitutes an extra half day, beyond the two that she is limited to.

TP, Mr. A and I went to brunch Saturday morning. Found a round table and had a great meal together. End of the meal comes. TP is coming with me. Mr. A is on his way. She wasn't sure if she could say her goodbyes and had to ask. I had assumed she was going to (which is really quite good on my part). I watched them kiss, say what I presume was I love you, and part ways, without feeling jealous or really anything negative about it. But then, French toast does have a calming affect.
 
Found a round table and had a great meal together. End of the meal comes and TP is coming with me, Mr. A is on his way...she wasn't sure if she could say her goodbyes and had to ask. I had assumed she was going to (which is really quite good on my part) and I watched them kiss and say what I presume was their I love you's and part ways without feeling jealous or really anything negative about it

Round table = awesome.

Also, I didn't assume I could say my goodbyes. Never hurts to check, my love. :)

You don't know it, but you're about to remark your territory! ;)
 
Great weekend

PN and Redpepper had a good night Friday and they seem to have reconnected. Sunday, he and I worked on their deck together. It reminded me of just what more people maintaining a house could achieve with regards to more time to do the things we really want to do. It was nice because while we worked, and their son did his own carpentry with old boards and a hammer, Redpepper got to go for a walk with Derbylicious. Sometimes it really can be quite simple to just enjoy being who we are with the people in our lives. :) It's not all drama and work, especially now. But we are taking on more challenges and moving forward as a family. ;)
 
PN and Redpepper had a good night Friday and they seem to have reconnected :) Sunday me and him worked on their deck together and it reminded me of just what more people maintaining a house could achieve with regards to more time to do the things we really want to. It was nice because while we worked and thier son did his own carpentry with old boards and a hammer, Redpepper got to go for a walk with Derbylicious. Sometimes it really can be quite simple to just enjoy being who we are with the people in our lives :) It's not all drama and work, especially now...but we are taking on more challenges and moving forward as a family ;)

Perhaps Mercury isn't in retrograde anymore :). It has been a surprisingly good weekend.
 
Yesterday Sean had a very bad day at work, but Rag and I supported him through the phone/internet. He said "I love both of you so much" and thanked us for being there for him, and that made me very happy. I think it's wonderful that my boyfriend and husband can bond, even though, being both straight, they wouldn't get involved romantically or sexually. I feel like we're one big family and that's the way it should be (for me).
 
23 months and a big step :)

Today I gave notice to move out of my apartment on December first. There is definitely happiness at the idea of a new chapter in our lives. Seeing what we can build with Redpepper surrounded by those that love her. I am looking forward to being able to enjoy a beer with Polynerdist and Redpepper on the back deck in the evening, and not think about driving home after. (I'll just stumble down the stairs.)

We are all a little nervous, a little taken aback and certainly expecting some growing pains. But none of us feel trapped in this decision, either. Our connection as a family is the truly important thing. We will do whatever it takes to keep that intact. We will watch the connections we have as couples and make sure being closer does, in fact, bring us closer.

Our families know what we are doing. Redpepper's parents seem to be our strongest supporters. Of course, we will keep everyone updated. :)
 
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