LovingRadiance
Active member
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=26030#post26030
More info from me-on this other post...
More info from me-on this other post...
I was already having an off day because they had had so much time together this week anyway. I managed to keep my feelings under control and in check though. I was kind of proud of myself there.
This was the first time she had been over here. I told husband that I don't want her in our bed unless I am there. He has graciously and understandingly agreed. So we were all very nervous to see how I would come out of all of this. I think I did rather well.
Kat, your story of the meeting with your husband's GF was beautiful. There are SO many evils -- misconceptions, unfounded fears, worst-case guesses -- that can be swept away when you can just talk honestly with someone for awhile. I'm so glad you were able to reach out, and so glad that she responded so well.
. . . because of the boundaries in the primary relationship, secondaries like me have to be less transparent then they might prefer. It's a compromise for sure.
Polywog! I love it: I've still got a single mono tail but I'm growing new arms for reaching out with. Nice metaphor.
Maca and LR - thank you so much for sharing your story. Maca, you really gave me a lot to think about.......
My husbands GF and I did go out last night - and it went great!
............ I couldn't agree more with you about boundaries - I think they are important to the primary relationship, especially in a situation like mine where I am mono and husband is poly. I think there are just limits that need to be respected. It's about everyone being comfortable. If boundaries help any of the people involved to feel that way - then they shouldn't be questioned.
It's a matter of what we focus on. If we focus on the negative, we will see it everywhere. (Remember when you bought a new car, and all of a sudden started noticing the same car everywhere? That's the power of focus.) On the other hand, if we chose to adopt a positive interpretation, we will start to look for, and therefore notice, the positive in our lives in all kinds of small and large ways. This positive expectation in turn motivates us to work harder in our lives, which creates results, which reinforces our positive expectations.