How do I say this...

openmarriage42

New member
My husband was the first to bring the idea tot he table... So okay he wants to be with someone other than I , hurtful, but over many months of talking i have come to terms. I would love for him to experience life outside of our house but how do you go about doing this as most people know we are married and the ladies dont want any part of it... for me I am bi-curious and dont mind the idea of swapping but again same issue people want single people. so my question is how do we go about finding a couple or indivduals that are intrested in the same things as he and I.
 
My husband was the first to bring the idea tot he table... So okay he wants to be with someone other than I , hurtful, but over many months of talking i have come to terms. I would love for him to experience life outside of our house but how do you go about doing this as most people know we are married and the ladies dont want any part of it... for me I am bi-curious and dont mind the idea of swapping but again same issue people want single people. so my question is how do we go about finding a couple or indivduals that are intrested in the same things as he and I.

There is a thread

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2835

it has a lot of great tips for finding people :)
 
Thats great but I guess what I am looking for are clubs or something that we can go in and meet people in preson and face to face. We have tried the web sites and they all seem to be palyers of a sort say they'll meet then stand you up...
 
Thats great but I guess what I am looking for are clubs or something that we can go in and meet people in preson and face to face. We have tried the web sites and they all seem to be palyers of a sort say they'll meet then stand you up...

This is in that thread too, somewhere but your best bet is to try

1 - find a local poly group
2 - find a lifestyle club. This comes in many forms. There can be mixed clubs (poly, swinging, bdsm) etc. So you have to search
3 - this one is rarely mentioned. Hit up a local sex shop and see if there are any hidden groups in your area.
4 - fetlife.com - while a BDSM site has a strong poly group in some areas. you might find a "poly munch" available to go to.

Number 5 - ... go out to a bar, or socialize together and talk to people. Let people know your interest and go from there
 
This is in that thread too, somewhere but your best bet is to try

1 - find a local poly group
2 - find a lifestyle club. This comes in many forms. There can be mixed clubs (poly, swinging, bdsm) etc. So you have to search
3 - this one is rarely mentioned. Hit up a local sex shop and see if there are any hidden groups in your area.
4 - fetlife.com - while a BDSM site has a strong poly group in some areas. you might find a "poly munch" available to go to.

Number 5 - ... go out to a bar, or socialize together and talk to people. Let people know your interest and go from there

*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!
 
*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

My pleasure. like I said, I don't think many people think of it.

If they don't know poly, they might know closed swingers groups or open support groups. :)...

I found one in town, but..umm...the age range was a little older then my desires. :)
 
*mind blown* This never even crossed my mind. Thank you!

It wouldn't cross my mind, either. I certainly wouldn't go looking for a poly group at a sex shop. I used to manage an adult shop. We had folks from the fetish community in, we had folks from the swinging community in--we had no folks from any poly group come in of which I'm aware (and any requests to post info, yada yada yada had to have my approval).

I have to say I wouldn't visit any poly group that had posted info in a sex shop. That suggests to me the folks in it are more interested in meat market dating and looking for hookups and I'm not interested in that.
 
I guess I just see a lot of cross over in the area. Most poly people I have met now are already non-monogamous or ex-swingers or still swingers.
 
It wouldn't cross my mind, either. I certainly wouldn't go looking for a poly group at a sex shop. I used to manage an adult shop. We had folks from the fetish community in, we had folks from the swinging community in--we had no folks from any poly group come in of which I'm aware (and any requests to post info, yada yada yada had to have my approval).

I have to say I wouldn't visit any poly group that had posted info in a sex shop. That suggests to me the folks in it are more interested in meat market dating and looking for hookups and I'm not interested in that.
I have to agree not into the meat market type dating, But maybe they list social clubs and the such in there or know of some in the area.... I guess like I said I have tried the websites and to no avail have gotten no where so I was hoping there was a way to locate clubs via the board.... Unfortunaly not as i have got the run around on here also, Guess I'll just shelve this and put it a side....
 
It wouldn't cross my mind, either. I certainly wouldn't go looking for a poly group at a sex shop. I used to manage an adult shop. We had folks from the fetish community in, we had folks from the swinging community in--we had no folks from any poly group come in of which I'm aware (and any requests to post info, yada yada yada had to have my approval).

I have to say I wouldn't visit any poly group that had posted info in a sex shop. That suggests to me the folks in it are more interested in meat market dating and looking for hookups and I'm not interested in that.

That wouldn't be my first reaction ... I would think someone is trying to get word out in a place that is already accepting of a wide variety of alternative lifestyles.

But yes, the meat market thing could be just as true.
 
What sites are you on? OKcupid has proven to be the most poly friendly I have known... most of my poly community here and in area are on there. Plenty of fish is the second, but is more for hook ups and open relationships. Never say never though, I met my Mono there and he hadn't even heard of poly when we first met. Sometime a whole lot of educating is needed first, before meeting.
 
Most poly people I have met now are already non-monogamous....

Every poly person I've met has been non-monogamous! :p

And most I've met have not done any swinging. To be precise, they haven't mentioned any, and I imagine openly poly folk aren't going to be in the closet about other non-monogamous things. There may be some few who would admit to one and not the other, though I can't say as I'm aware of any.
 
In my life in general, I've found that being vocal about everything I am interested in has rewarded me.

I'm openly poly in my life. I'm a political activist and don't mind talking about my philosophy. Both of those things are important to me so I mention them to friends, family or anybody else in my life who cares about me enough to have the conversation.

There are "closet cases" everywhere. I've had people that I totally didn't expect respond to my discussion of poly. I have a knack for finding people interested in poly (and in BDSM for the same reason) or open relationships.

It's very likely that people around you are or are considering an open relationship that are too uncomfortable broaching the topic. To all of those people YOU look like the "dedicated mono couple" that you're ruling out because you don't know. :)
 
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