Considering One-sided open relationship - advice needed

Hi Kevin

Yes, some of your answers are definitely helpful :).

I have actually asked the other guy beginning of this week if he wants to meet and he said that he is really busy that week but would get back to me afterward this week.

And yes, I guess I'll just have to kind of jump into "dangerous" territory and ask him if he is interested :). And then hope that I'll not be totally wrong about how he feels about me. :)
 
Yeah I wish there was an easy way to introduce someone to poly. Good luck and keep us posted!
 
Date with Other Guy late this week

Hi all

So the other guy and me set a date to meet for later this week. Now I am wondering if you have any good ideas for what to do on the date... The weather is going to be potentially rainy.

I could be bold and suggest something like cooking at his place... Or just suggest the usual dinner... but somehow I feel it's difficult to get closer together when having dinner. Maybe dinner and cinema...

Or should I just ask him to make some suggestion?

Thanks for any suggestions. I'm seriously getting nervous about seeing him again.

P.S. Things with my fiance are fine and I told him immediately after setting the date with the other guy and his reaction was open and he did not mind at all. I am still a tiny bit doubtful if he really is 100% alright with this, but from everything I know about him he would never say he's alright with it if he wasn't.
 
Movies are a bad date for being able to talk to someone.
 
Hi cuteelephant,

What will be open during your date? a museum? an art gallery? an aquarium? You might be able to do some talking during or after dinner ...

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Sounds like a good plan to me.
 
So just to let everyone know what happened... In the end nothing happened.

It turns out M. is not interested in me because I am engaged. If I weren't engaged it would probably be a very different story. I am trying to accept that and not be too disappointed and hope that we'll still be colleagues (he's expressed his feelings that he'd really like to keep seeing me). It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable when we talked about it.

Generally this just makes me a little bit more disappointed that he isn't interested as he just rose in my opinion/view :).

So for now I'm going to stay mono as I really don't want to start looking for another guy. In a way I am also a bit relieved that M. isn't interested as I do believe it makes things easier with my fiance. I am very glad that my fiance and me talked about this as it makes me even more sure about our future together.

Thank you for all your input.
 
So just to let everyone know what happened... In the end nothing happened.

It turns out M. is not interested in me because I am engaged. If I weren't engaged it would probably be a very different story. I am trying to accept that and not be too disappointed and hope that we'll still be colleagues (he's expressed his feelings that he'd really like to keep seeing me). It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable when we talked about it.

Generally this just makes me a little bit more disappointed that he isn't interested as he just rose in my opinion/view :).

So for now I'm going to stay mono as I really don't want to start looking for another guy. In a way I am also a bit relieved that M. isn't interested as I do believe it makes things easier with my fiance. I am very glad that my fiance and me talked about this as it makes me even more sure about our future together.

Thank you for all your input.

Funny. An engaged women (whose wife to be was a friend of longstanding of my gf's) took an interest in my gf during her engagement to my gf's friend. I did think it was odd she was pursuing my gf in the months leading up to her own marriage. Isn't the engagement time a time to grow closer to your fiance or fiancee, learn to live together domestically (these days), plan your wedding, be all moony and in love?

I guess it's different for poly people. I saw another example of that here: we had a house party of young people last winter, and one of the women was engaged, but her male fiance wasn't at the party, and she was constantly in the arms of another woman here, and slept with her every night.

Now both of these couples are married. I wonder how that affects their dynamic with the other people they are interested in.
 
Hi cuteelephant, thanks for that update. I'm sorry things turned out a little disappointing. I just wish you the best and hope you will find much happiness going forward.
 
Thanks for updating us, the forum here is pretty awesome and supportive. I have had a lot of great wisdom and thoughts to mull over.
I am so sorry that it didn't work out, but it's awesome how clear your communication with both colleague and fiancé is strengthened through this situation. Lots of people put these situations under the rug with out ever exploring them, and then wonder with a question mark over their head forever. Lucky for you, you will have no regrets or worries because you were brave and took the risk. ;) good luck with life and future marriage and congratulations.
 
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