Hello everyone, I'm a 25 yo Male.
I hope you don't mind me (a monogamous person) posting on your forum, but i just wanted to talk to someone about the relationship I am in. I have known my girlfriend for 10 years and we have been dating for 3, we have a 1 yo daughter together.
My girlfriend had told me from the very beginning that she way polyamorous and i was fine with it. Only recently has she been able to find time to see other men. We discussed our open relationship very briefly without me having much knowledge about it, and as a result I became very paranoid and anxious over the past 3 weeks. It was very bad i was scared; my mind was filled with the worst thoughts I could imagine. But last night i finally said what was on my mind and we communicated properly and all my fears went away. I still have some concerns and don't know enough information. reading on this forum opened my eyes to a lot of things. terminology like fluid bonding I never considered. but what i want to discuss is...
My girlfriend says she is only interested in the sex aspect and having friends to talk to regularly she only feels love for them as friends not romantic partners, and would never invite them over to our house or show them pictures of our daughter. but I can't see how you can have such close friendships and be sexualy intimate with someone and not feel emotionaly invested. I must say I hate the flirting and role play she gives to other men on her phone arranging times to meet and have sex while me and her daughter and next to her. I don't want to set up a list of terms and conditions for her to follow but i can't help feeling like I come second to these other men some times. She has said she will stop seeing other people to make me happy but I know it's a part of who she is and i love all of her very much.
I hope you don't mind me (a monogamous person) posting on your forum, but i just wanted to talk to someone about the relationship I am in. I have known my girlfriend for 10 years and we have been dating for 3, we have a 1 yo daughter together.
My girlfriend had told me from the very beginning that she way polyamorous and i was fine with it. Only recently has she been able to find time to see other men. We discussed our open relationship very briefly without me having much knowledge about it, and as a result I became very paranoid and anxious over the past 3 weeks. It was very bad i was scared; my mind was filled with the worst thoughts I could imagine. But last night i finally said what was on my mind and we communicated properly and all my fears went away. I still have some concerns and don't know enough information. reading on this forum opened my eyes to a lot of things. terminology like fluid bonding I never considered. but what i want to discuss is...
My girlfriend says she is only interested in the sex aspect and having friends to talk to regularly she only feels love for them as friends not romantic partners, and would never invite them over to our house or show them pictures of our daughter. but I can't see how you can have such close friendships and be sexualy intimate with someone and not feel emotionaly invested. I must say I hate the flirting and role play she gives to other men on her phone arranging times to meet and have sex while me and her daughter and next to her. I don't want to set up a list of terms and conditions for her to follow but i can't help feeling like I come second to these other men some times. She has said she will stop seeing other people to make me happy but I know it's a part of who she is and i love all of her very much.