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View Poll Results: What type of poly origin did you have?
I've always had poly tendencies and never really took to monogamy 20 10.87%
I've always had poly tendencies and tried to be monogamous before 65 35.33%
I fell in love with a poly person and have adapted to the lifestyle 23 12.50%
I read or heard about someone else's poly experiences and thought it could work for me 18 9.78%
Other 58 31.52%
Voters: 184. You may not vote on this poll

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  #521  
Old 01-25-2017, 12:24 PM
Jafo105 Jafo105 is offline
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Default Why am I here?

I am here because of so many reasons:
  • I am a 49 year old gentleman.
  • I am the shy quiet type.
  • I do not have much luck when it comes to meeting women.
  • I have never been in a LTR. Just a few short relationships.
  • I was a workaholic in my younger years. Until the day I retired for health reasons.
  • I find myself craving affection, (not to be confused with sex).
  • OK, I am human - I have sexual needs and wants just like everyone else.
  • I have some religious upbringing - the bible has some positive stories of multi-partner relationships - but the practice is frowned upon today.
  • I believe that multi-partner relationships can be safe and secure -- If everyone is respectful of boundaries, committed and honest with one another.
  • I have a huge heart just aching to be let out for some fresh air.
  • I believe that no one should have to grow old alone.
  • The poly (poly-faithful) life may be just for me.

I could probably list a few more, but I will stop here.

Cheers,
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  #522  
Old 01-29-2017, 05:30 PM
crimson crimson is offline
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I am new here. Exploring one could say. I found out that people really live this lifestyle *and this may make you laugh* when I binge watched Big Love the HBO show while I worked about 7 years ago *I work from home* I was intrigued. I've done tons of research on it however, my husband is not open to polygamy. I have also been fascinated with polyandry which I discovered researching polygamy and plan to discuss it with him. We are married and both are straight and monogamous in our marriage. Currently I joke with him about it and he even had a dream that there was another husband. It makes so much sense to me. It makes so much sense to me when I think about the dynamics when I researched the history of it and the benefits. Of course, I know ALL relationships are work and have their share of challenges. My husband fully and admittingly is emotionally disconnected from all emotions. By that I mean he loves me he states it and in his mind that love is strong but he does not express his emotions. He does say the words but no expression not even in intimacy which he considers just a physical act. He doesn't show any emotion ever. I have to ask him what he is feeling to know for sure. I have to encourage him to hug our kids and tell them in words so that they know how he feels. We have worked through this but he knows for me it's been a missing component in our relationship all the way around for the past 17 years. Not that this is the biggest component of my intense drawing to polyandry but it's a part of it. Do I have concerns... yes, do I have doubts...yes, do I think it could work ... YES and I desire for it to work. My friends call me the Queen of Love because my whole life has been based around loving people and teaching others how to love people unconditionally. So I am drawn to sharing this love but I also know my husband is jealous which is one of the biggest problems I've read about in these relationships. I don't even know if it will ever happen but I would love for it too. I'm 47 and feel like my life is just starting ... which also seems odd to me but I do know as we grow older we really start owning who we are my husband is 12 years younger than I am but very set in his ways almost like an old soul people often think he is older than I. Looking forward to learning more while here. So that's my reasons.
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  #523  
Old 02-03-2017, 10:45 AM
Valleydoll Valleydoll is offline
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On a number of occasions throughout my life I have found myself wanting to connect more with other people, like the start of a relationship but I was already in a relationship. This usually led me to breaking up with the original partner and starting anew. I have been married to my husband for 20 years and been involved with my boyfriend for 18 months. My husband, throughout our marriage, has wanted me to experiment with people sexually which I have done on occasion. I met my boyfriend this way and have been exclusive since then. There are tensions with regards to how much I share with my husband about the intimacy I experience with my boyfriend and would really like some help. Could you someone please point me in the direction of a more appropriate thread for this?

Thank you xx
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  #524  
Old 02-03-2017, 08:28 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Valleydoll,

Why not start a new thread? The Poly Relationships Corner is a good place for that sort of thing.

Just my 2.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #525  
Old 02-03-2017, 11:32 PM
Valleydoll Valleydoll is offline
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Thanks Kevin, I just might! xx
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  #526  
Old 02-05-2017, 01:17 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Cool.
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  #527  
Old 02-23-2017, 07:40 AM
IndigoTiger IndigoTiger is offline
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My husband and I became poly after about a year of marriage. We came to the decision after discovering the concept and doing a lot of research, only to discover that's always how my heart has kind of worked.

Once discovering the concept, we spoke to some friends of ours who have been functionally poly for several years and eventually fell for them cause we're saps like that and they were exactly what we needed. :P

Now we can't really imagine our lives any other way.
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  #528  
Old 06-10-2017, 06:00 PM
Taramafor Taramafor is offline
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It's a long story. Don't feel much like getting too depth into it right now.

Suffice to say people made it a choice in the past and everyone got hurt with some dying and in my case losing my marbles. Learned a lot from it though. More then just poly things. Seems to have made me a good peoples person. Relating to suffering can do that. Yet I'm an uncaring bastard if I don't give a damn about you. Loyalty over empathy.

Strangely enough that's why I'm now into fearplay and am a mental masochist. Accepting the worst in others and having them accept it from me. Add shitloud of caring for flavor.

Funny how things work out.

Last edited by Taramafor; 06-10-2017 at 06:03 PM.
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  #529  
Old 06-13-2017, 04:14 AM
Taramafor Taramafor is offline
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Also to answer the question... Those poll answers are loaded dice btw. It doesn't account for "I BECAME poly down the line" and specifically only caters to "You're always that way". I don't believe it's something we're "always are". People can and will change. Sometimes not even of their own free will due to being presented with new information. Did I "become poly" or "find it out" when such information was obtained? Doesn't matter. Result is the same.

Wherever I was always poly or not is moot. I was with someone, someone else was sent my way. By another someone. None of them "poly". Yet through all the things that happened here I am now. I was presented with the information of "making it a choice hurts others". I've also stopped caring about others (everyone actually) and became an emotionless robot. Don't think something like that will happen but there you go. I also changed back despite thinking "I'll always be this way".
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  #530  
Old 06-28-2017, 11:45 AM
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BonzaiBlitz BonzaiBlitz is offline
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Why: I was married to Bloom for nearly a decade without knowing she wanted to try BDSM. We opened up the marriage so she could find a dedicated dom instead of pressuring me to do stuff I wasn't into, and so that I could maybe finally come out of the closet in a few areas.

How: We started attending local kink events, found the local poly group (mostly overlapping with the kink community), and started meeting people.


Currently, neither of us are seeing anyone else, mostly due to searching for a specific "type," and the potential dating pool being TINY because Bible Belt.
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