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  #1  
Old 04-20-2015, 04:57 PM
tecklemino tecklemino is offline
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Default hello from north carolina

hello!

right now my wife and I are considering opening up our relationship. Which is fine with me. I'm gone too often on business (I'm only home a few months a year) for me to really expect to be able to meet all of her needs all the time. We have been married for 7 years now, and our relationship is great, but let's face it. She gets lonely.

so, right now we are doing a lot of reading. actually, we have been talking about I for years now. My wife is bi, and would like to find a girl to be close to. She has always wanted that. She is afraid of men and doesn't really connect with them well, but with girls... she gets giddy, if that makes sense. And I love seeing it.


anyway, we are in a Dd/lg relationship. I don't know how much difference that makes, but figured I would throw that out there. I look forward to learning more about poly.
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  #2  
Old 04-21-2015, 02:49 PM
Whiskeyginger Whiskeyginger is offline
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How are you doing? do you get lonely too? what about your needs in this?
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  #3  
Old 04-21-2015, 04:55 PM
tecklemino tecklemino is offline
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I don't really get lonely. I would love to open up my relationship completely, but I won't until I get out of my career field. I'm military... with a security clearance I don't want to lose.

So basically, I am not permitted to have sex with anyone but my wife. Which is fine with me as long as my wife is meeting my needs while I am home. After I get out, I'll be home most of the time, and then I can do whatever I want. As it is, I can be open about having an marriage that is open on my wife's end, but not on mine. My unit would know immediately, I'm watched pretty closely.

what do I get out of this? Well, the best way I can say it is... Daddy dom. I love seeing my little girl happy. i do not have any fears that she will leave me, so I see no reason to restrict her from seeking lovers. Right now she is only interested in seeking women because she feels... a different kind of love for women, if that makes any sense.
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Old 04-26-2015, 06:54 PM
Fernando Fernando is offline
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What a beautiful story!! Thanks for sharing this with us!

My wife and I decided to open our marriage about a year ago. It occurred to us that marriages might be more likely to break up with too little love than too much. Polyamory conjured up a word, "compersion", as the opposite of jealousy, taking joy in your spouse being loved by another. My wife and I both agreed it would give us great pleasure to know that the other was enveloped in love. We both feel our love for each other has increased. It takes pressure off a relationship to know that you are not responsible for meeting all your spouse's needs.

My wife loved your story as well. Alas, she is heterosexual.

Best wishes in your adventure!
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  #5  
Old 04-28-2015, 03:03 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings tecklemino,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You gave your wife a wonderful gift, in that you gave your blessing for her to have poly relationships. I wish both of you the best, and hope you'll let us know if you have any questions.

Good to have you amongst us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
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  #6  
Old 04-28-2015, 12:28 PM
tecklemino tecklemino is offline
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Thank you for the replies. I have been reading a lot about relationship dynamics, and how they might evolve with a third person involved.

My own relationship with my wife has a lot of structure to it, so it will be interesting to say the least to see how things progress. my wife has been through a history that would make most people cringe. The structure makes her feel safe.

At first, I fought her on D/s. I didn't understand what she needed. But holy crap... once I finally "got it", it was beautiful. She opened up and blossomed in ways I never could have imagined.

she adores me. And I am immensely proud of her. She is a beautiful woman who used to think she was broken...

So, I'm sure I'll have questions. in the mean time, I'll keep reading.
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Old 04-28-2015, 08:03 PM
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Sounds good.
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Old 01-23-2017, 07:55 AM
tecklemino tecklemino is offline
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So, i figured i would give you guys an update of how we are doing.

it took a while for my wife to really start looking for a girlfriend. she had basically just posted up some profiles on some dating sites and then sat on it. would check them once a week or less. never sent out any messages. basically, she was too shy to start conversations. and too shy to know how to get them going when people messaged her.

well, she has recently gone through some changes. got in a car accident, had a health scare, got a surgery done to ablate problem nerves in her neck... turned in our business and sold it for a profit, and now she feels back on top of the world and is wondering why the hell she has been letting fear and anxiety stop her.

in the mean time, my wife and i hit it off with a girl from within the kink community. basically, it was a girl who was searching for a stable relationship. she has Borderline Personality Disorder and always seem to sabotage her relationships, so i started chatting with her about it. My wife also suffers BPD and i hadn't seen anything in this girls behavior that i had not already seen in my wife a zillion times. it didn't make me love my wife any less. in fact, that emotional aspect of her personality is one of the things that endears me to her: she NEEDS someone who can guide her and love her despite herself. I like it because i see a higher level of adoration from BPDers(my wife and girlfriend) than i do from "normal people". i guess its why DD/lg is such a good fit for us.

so anyway, i ended up connecting with this girl, and we hit it off fairly quick. i just started treating her the exact way i treat my wife when she has her outbursts. the girl started showing me that adoration and i was pretty much hooked lol. so far, my wife and her get along pretty good. they acted from day 1 like they have been close friends for years and years. it didnt take her long to ask me to be her "Daddy Dom".

of course, they dont live with each other yet, girlfriend lives in another state. we hope to bring her in to live with us some time in the near future.

my wife loves my girlfriend, but she is still chatting with other girls and dating. she is currently chatting with one that she finds pretty cute. we shall see where that goes.

i wasn't even looking for a girlfriend really. just wanted to help guide the girl. she fell for me hard though, and it didn't take too long for me to fall for her. she is worth risking my career for. i already know that i can get a job on the outside with the skills i have, and i already know that i am so tired of being gone for 9 months of every year that i will not re-enlist again. we have set things up so that i can transition out of the army just about any time i want and we will be taken care of financially. now that we have accomplished that, i would rather get out and start another business. running small businesses is something that i am pretty good at... just dont have the time right now. i rarely have much time for anything anymore...

im tired of being gone all the time...

Last edited by tecklemino; 01-23-2017 at 08:01 AM.
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  #9  
Old 01-23-2017, 05:58 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Sounds like you're ready to transition out of the Army. How soon can you make that happen? The relationship with the new girl seems to be heating up fast; I wouldn't want you to get penalized at work because of it. Having said that, it's great that things are looking up for you and your wife. I hope that trend continues.
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  #10  
Old 01-23-2017, 09:09 PM
tecklemino tecklemino is offline
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well, i haven't actually had sex with her yet, so there really isn't anything the army can penalize me for right at the moment. besides, i found out that my new commander is a "friend of lily". ill let you google that... he doesn't know that i know.


long story short though, he is a firm believer in letting adults do whatever adults want to do in their personal lives. i only have a couple years left on my current enlistment. with the business that we just sold, we should have another 50-60 grand rolling in over the next two years. plus, there are three adults living in my house who are all contributing to the central family income: my wife, my sister, and myself. the girlfriend will probably join us in the next year or so, so that will be a fourth.

on top of that, we just paid my sisters fiances legal battle to get him out of jail in 3 years instead of 30.(fVck floridas retarded ass drug laws...) anyway, he is doing everything right that indicates to me that he wants to get the hell away from his old life and start anew. since i am the only person in his life who has not abandoned him(besides my sister) he wants to stay with us and support our cause. a year ago, when i told him that i intended to sponsor him and get him back to society, help him get a job, give him a place to stay and such, he broke down crying. nobody has ever tried to actually help him before in his life. he had a hard time accepting it. we have talked at length as to why i would even bother to help him. as i told him, i do not have to like him or even know him to love him. if he is near me long enough, he will change, and he will grow. its just how i am with people. basically, he is joining the family. so, that's one more person to help our family grow in strength and stability.

my wife, being a sufferer of BPD, didn't have a great relationship with her family before i met her. since they saw how she has changed over the years, they have reached out and made themselves a powerful ally to us. because they see that i can handle her better than they can, and that we can be successful, they have helped us and we have helped their business grow. they actually call our two families *the family*. as in, mafia.

i gotta admit. we are kinda turning into that...
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