Avalyne
New member
Hello. I'm a bi-sexual woman from Utah (No, that is not in Montana! ). Currently single, and in what I call a "conscientious celibacy" phase. Getting over two recent and successive break-ups, so doing some self-eval and self-nurturing. I'm also a busy mother of teens.
Grew up mainstream Mormon and somehow, in my mind, linked polyamory with "polygamy" (yes, I know the Mormons practiced polygyny--THEY don't differentiate it! ) and with all the associated fears and bad feelings which run rampant among mainstream Mormon women toward that part of our ancestral "legacy." I left religion 12 years ago, came out, dated mostly women, (and mostly monogamously) for several years while also being actively involved in local GLBT groups. Dabbled in BDSM (I prefer the BD to the SM), and then moved reluctantly into "swinging" with my last two (male) partners. I'm not a true swinger (though I have met some wonderful friends and learned a lot about myself). I'm a very sexual, sensual person who wants deep and loving connections with my lovers.
Finding a place where I "fit in" has been ridiculous, so I've stopped doing that, and I'm just living my life; pretty happy with who I am. What I'm finding, as I read, learn, and spend time with local poly friends, is that polyamory answers so much of what I've questioned in myself for much of my adult life. Accepting that I'm NOT monogamous (never was) and finding a community of people who believe that honesty, connectedness, and openness can exist, is so healing. I feel like it's the first time I've been able to really just love myself without having to go "find" a relationship to complete me. So, I'm glad to be here and glad to be hearing everyone's stories. I'm learning, learning, learning... about life and about myself. It's great.
Grew up mainstream Mormon and somehow, in my mind, linked polyamory with "polygamy" (yes, I know the Mormons practiced polygyny--THEY don't differentiate it! ) and with all the associated fears and bad feelings which run rampant among mainstream Mormon women toward that part of our ancestral "legacy." I left religion 12 years ago, came out, dated mostly women, (and mostly monogamously) for several years while also being actively involved in local GLBT groups. Dabbled in BDSM (I prefer the BD to the SM), and then moved reluctantly into "swinging" with my last two (male) partners. I'm not a true swinger (though I have met some wonderful friends and learned a lot about myself). I'm a very sexual, sensual person who wants deep and loving connections with my lovers.
Finding a place where I "fit in" has been ridiculous, so I've stopped doing that, and I'm just living my life; pretty happy with who I am. What I'm finding, as I read, learn, and spend time with local poly friends, is that polyamory answers so much of what I've questioned in myself for much of my adult life. Accepting that I'm NOT monogamous (never was) and finding a community of people who believe that honesty, connectedness, and openness can exist, is so healing. I feel like it's the first time I've been able to really just love myself without having to go "find" a relationship to complete me. So, I'm glad to be here and glad to be hearing everyone's stories. I'm learning, learning, learning... about life and about myself. It's great.