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Old 01-24-2016, 12:02 AM
Saphiredark Saphiredark is offline
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 11

WE= crush and I sorry.

well I was hoping it would be an eventual thing with GF and I. We did move fast because things were going so great :-/ (weird to admit that). We were having conversations about a lot of plans we wanted to take on and places to travel....just really awesome activities and we connected very well on a surface level.
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Old 01-24-2016, 02:46 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,935

We did move fast because things were going so great :-/ (weird to admit that).
Weird how? It just is what it is. In chronological order to me it sounds like...
  • Things were going well and GF and I connected on a surface level.
  • I felt all "whee!" and excited.
  • I jumped the gun and went too fast making promises to Close and be exclusive.

Much like this...

if I am in a mono relationship, isn't that a form of cheating? continuing conversation for someone I have feelings for. I can certainly stop myself from acting on it in the future now that I know to expect it.
It's just something to be aware of now going forward in future so you don't end up in this place again feeling yucky.

Now that you know to expect yourself getting a bit "Whee! New relationship energy!" you can guard against making agreements or promises that jump the gun. Could wait til the NRE rush isn't so "wheee!" first before promising things.

You still have to figure out if you want to be with GF long term or if you want to end it here. Where your own willingness lies.

And then she has to report back if the cheating is a deal breaker for her or not. That determines if you are even able to continue with her or not. If it's a deal breaker for her, even if you want to be with her you cannot because she's done. You need both willing and able for things with GF to keep going.

I encourage you to keep sorting things out.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 01-24-2016 at 09:14 PM.
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:33 PM
Tinwen Tinwen is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: central Europe
Posts: 1,363

Originally Posted by Saphiredark View Post
I owe you an apology...galagirl showed to me that it was a genuine question and I have told her. This stuff is not my forte at all. I was being defensive because I felt exposed on the internet.
Thanks, yes, I understood. It was miscommunication on my part as well, I was to tired to write a longer comment.
I leave this thread to Galagirl and others, she is so much better in clarifying confusion. I tend to give opinions from I very personal viewpoint only. Now I think that while you discuss here you are getting more and more on the right track with your thinking.
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Old 01-27-2016, 01:28 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 16,080

Hi Saphiredark,

Question ... about your girlfriend (not to be confused with "Crush"), is she okay with a poly arrangement or does she definitely want you to be monogamous if you're going to keep seeing her? If she is okay with a poly arrangement, is she also okay with "Crush" being in the picture?

It sounds like you're gradually getting things worked out, which is excellent. Give us an update if you're willing.

Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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