Poly or not?

The sad thing for me is I think he doesn't think he's in the wrong. He stresses on things like how in The Ethical Slut poly people are encouraged to continually change their own rules. So maybe in his head he's changed his rules and therefore he's right to do as he pleases. I doubt he's sorry at all.

Sometimes I would like to banish The Ethical Slut from the Approved Poly Reading List. So many morons use it as an excuse to do whatever they want. At the very least, a title change would put off the utter gobshites.
 
I read the book-and frankly-didn't enjoy it or find it productively useful to me regarding poly or otherwise.
 
UPDATE:

OK, so get this. 3 weeks after this whole thing went down, we meet to talk (his suggestion) and I took that as opportunity to give him his things back.

He apologizes and tells me I've taught him a valuable lesson in life. But that he was angry with me for reacting the way I did, at a public place and even involving her. He says he wants to remain friends with me.

He then tells me that now he is EXCLUSIVE (ie MONOGAMOUS) with the other girl he was seeing because since I split up with him, our triad "organically" became a couple. And that it just "naturally" happened that way.

Let me clarify. The other girl, let's call her Cindy, knew about me. I knew about her. I found out about the highschool friend visiting here by chance, only because he drove by my place.

When I asked him if Cindy knew that his highschool friend was here, he said "No". I asked him if that was fair that she doesn't know, he said, "She would prefer not to know...but if she knew, she'd be mad."

He said that his relationship with Cindy became better now that I am OUT OF THE PICTURE. I"m thinking well, duh! Of course, Cindy always wanted to be in a monogamous relationship with him and now she's got it.

Do I want this idiot back? NO!

Am I pissed off? I am. But I realize that better Cindy than me having to deal with his lies and drama.

What are your thoughts?
 
poly or not

Hears your answer!

"he thinks to this day he's done nothing wrong and that I and the other girl are the psychotic ones."

Right! from what you discribed his girl in the bar was clearly on your side,
he is pissed off because when they got home, she proberbly walked out on him, or he dident get any pussy. thats why he is pissed off.

to bad you dident get her # she sounded like she wouldent have a problem sharing you if she had known, Get her # next time he calls, im sure you two could go out and laugh your asses off, she sounds more poly than him and who knows maybe you could find a guy that would be happy with you both.

you allowed yourself to get emotionally sucked in, dont worry your not alone,
once you get a new guy or girl ,he will be history.
 
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