PrincessPoisonIvy
New member
Just curious and kinda hoping to get some tips and clarifications. I have been in one poly relationship before, but it was a triad in high school that obviously fell apart for many reasons. This relationship is my second legitimate poly experience and its majorly different. Especially with the difference of being the "New Girl" so to speak. I am going from being the girl with two girlfriends and we all fell in love with each other to being the girl who fell for another girl that already has 2 lovers. I am good friends with her boyfriend and I am trying to communicate with her girlfriend more but she's a shy girl. So its baby steps.
To best explain...They have a triad together. They plan on marriage, moving in, and lives together if things still go well and they connect once they all meet (long distance). I am seperate from all that just because I have no feelings for my girlfriends lovers. So she has her relationship with them and then a relationship with me. I guess I am just...not used to that. She wont even allow us to joke about things like favourites or even let me call myself a secondary. She says everyone is primary to her (I don't believe in marriage for myself...I just don't feel qualified..I explained this before we got together and she says she understands but I see her attempts to try and convince me otherwise). So I try my best to see myself as equal to them but I don't. There is many months worth more time, love, and emotions that they have on me. And while I don't question her feelings at all...sometimes I lack that feeling of...being important. If that makes sense.
So how have you guys dealt with this?
Also...I know jealousy is never "okay"...But. Is it normal? I never had it in my previous relationships.
Before I even got with my girlfriend, she told me there is currently a no sex rule because her virginity is promised to her boyfriend. I have zero issues. That is fine. We have been enjoying a relationship with no sexting so no sex is easy. But I am going to go visit her at the end of next month and I was going to be her first kiss and I believe her first date. Her boyfriend and her girlfriend were alright with that. Didn't have a care in the world anytime I brought it up and I brought it up a lot to be sure. So I created a huge plan for her to make it special. And she just recently told me she might go see her girlfriend about a week before I come out so it will be her instead of me. Her girlfriend was there first. So obviously I respect that...but I still can't help feeling jealous over it. And whats weird is I have no jealousy over the sex or the playing or anything. I am just jealous over the kiss. She asked me if it meant that much to me and I told the truth (communication is important!) but I also dont want to restrict her and she regrets or worse resents.
To best explain...They have a triad together. They plan on marriage, moving in, and lives together if things still go well and they connect once they all meet (long distance). I am seperate from all that just because I have no feelings for my girlfriends lovers. So she has her relationship with them and then a relationship with me. I guess I am just...not used to that. She wont even allow us to joke about things like favourites or even let me call myself a secondary. She says everyone is primary to her (I don't believe in marriage for myself...I just don't feel qualified..I explained this before we got together and she says she understands but I see her attempts to try and convince me otherwise). So I try my best to see myself as equal to them but I don't. There is many months worth more time, love, and emotions that they have on me. And while I don't question her feelings at all...sometimes I lack that feeling of...being important. If that makes sense.
So how have you guys dealt with this?
Also...I know jealousy is never "okay"...But. Is it normal? I never had it in my previous relationships.
Before I even got with my girlfriend, she told me there is currently a no sex rule because her virginity is promised to her boyfriend. I have zero issues. That is fine. We have been enjoying a relationship with no sexting so no sex is easy. But I am going to go visit her at the end of next month and I was going to be her first kiss and I believe her first date. Her boyfriend and her girlfriend were alright with that. Didn't have a care in the world anytime I brought it up and I brought it up a lot to be sure. So I created a huge plan for her to make it special. And she just recently told me she might go see her girlfriend about a week before I come out so it will be her instead of me. Her girlfriend was there first. So obviously I respect that...but I still can't help feeling jealous over it. And whats weird is I have no jealousy over the sex or the playing or anything. I am just jealous over the kiss. She asked me if it meant that much to me and I told the truth (communication is important!) but I also dont want to restrict her and she regrets or worse resents.