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Old 10-09-2012, 11:59 AM
Zoso Zoso is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Default New to this, and there may be a problem.

Hi there!

I'm a 26 year old female that has just gotten involved with a polyamorous man (let's call him Ted) in the past two months. I've known him for two years, and we've always gotten along great. Ted has been married to his primary partner (let's call her Eve) for three years, but they have been together for ten. At first, there were complications. She admits that there was definitely jealousy because she's monogamous. That has tapered off quite a bit since her and I have become really good friends. Becoming friends with Eve has made things so much easier, and I think we're all finally becoming comfortable with the situation, even spending nights together like any group of friends would. She's also told me that being with me had made Ted much happier, and that has made their marriage better than it was. That's the best thing I've ever heard.

Even as my relationship with Ted gets deeper, I am satisfied with it as it is. To be honest, I wasn't sure how this would all go when he first talked to me about his lifestyle, but I've found that it actually fits my needs much more than a traditional monogamous relationship, which is fantastic. I haven't had a relationship that I felt more comfortable in because I always felt smothered by my boyfriends. I'm ridiculously independent, and I honestly think that's a big reason why he approached me. I'm perfectly fine with him focusing his time on Eve when she's having insecurities or other issues, and I'm not jealous of her at all. I adore them as a couple, and I want nothing more than for them to stay together and be happy.

Anyway, it does seem like this whole situation might just have been too good to be true because I'm now facing a rather terrifying dilemma. I am on various medications for a recent hospital stay and that can cause this sort of issue, but I just realized that my period is a week late. I've never had a late period in my life. I didn't anticipate something like this arising at all, and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm going to give it a few more days before I take any sort of pregnancy tests because, like I said, it could just be my medications. However, if it isn't, I don't know that Eve will be okay with a baby coming from his secondary relationship. I swear I never intended to do any harm to their relationship or lives or anything else. The mere thought that I might cause any harm is eating me up inside.

I know I might be jumping the gun considering my medical problems as of late, but I'd rather have some sort of idea in mind if this is the worst case scenario. I adore my two friends so much, and I just want to be able to address this properly if it needs to be. Has anyone had this sort of thing happen before? Are there any suggestions you can give me for breaking the news if I am indeed pregnant? Do you think this will ruin their marriage? Any sort of insight or advice about this potentially complicated situation is highly appreciated.
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