I said I was "disappointed" he didnt tell more details so we could help more. I'm allowed to be disappointed. It's not nosiness.
Hell, I'll confess to being nosey! I do want to know! That doesn't mean I don't respect their right to privacy, but the husband did come to a public board to talk about it and ask for some feedback from us -- without giving enough info. How can we make suggestions if we're only guessing at why this is an issue for her?
We responded to his original question, and he pops in to say:
While I appreciate everyone's hypothetical responses, I really am hoping to tap into this wide experience base. Surely there is someone out there who has experienced this, and can speak directly to it. From their personal experience.
Riiiiiiight.... personal experience. With what? A condition he only revealed to one member secretly? After we tried to figure out where he's coming from in asking the question, and could only guess. No wonder our answers were hypothetical! But apparently, he had a problem with the "smart-aleck responses, all the haters, all the incredibly judgmental responses" and tells us he's disappointed because he "thought the poly community was more loving than that." So he disappears.
We'll probably never find out more, and that is disappointing because it could have been helpful to other folks, whether they participated in this thread or not. It's fine that he PM'd BrigidsDaughter to reveal to her that it is a medical condition, but he missed out on an opportunity by bringing it to the community here. This place is anonymous, his privacy wasn't at risk. We have at least one member who is a nurse, and many others who are very knowledgeable about physiology and sex.
So, yeah, I'm curious. I'm nosey.