Derbylicious
New member
I've been both spectator and Player in this dance, and I am quickly coming to realize that "poly" is used as a descriptor for a wide variety of relationships, some of which look a lot more like swinging than poly.
I don't get the "let's date everybody" attitude. I just don't. It puzzles me because it ends up limiting the time we have with those who we already have relationships with, and or are just developing. I'm watching those around me in hot pursuit of new/ different / more while barely spending time with those they've just started getting involved with. Weird. But what do I know, I'm new to this so maybe I'm wrong and this is what it's supposed to look like, but I don't think so.
You're not alone in the not getting the "let's date everyone" attitude. I can't date a whole bunch of people willy nilly because, for me, it cheapens what it means to share a romantic relationship with those I hold dear. I'm not judging those who do date many people, it just doesn't work for me.
I think the benefit of groups like this is that it gives you somewhere that you can talk freely about your relationships and not be judged. You're right that there are so many variations of poly that you're not always going to see eye to eye with how others live and love. If you've found some people who's company you enjoy that's what's important.