http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=255&highlight=communication&page=5
Post 48 by Redpepper:
I went to an afternoon course last week on Compassionate communication or Nonviolent communication (NVC). It was a work thing, but as usual, translated nicely into my real life. The facilitator was a local woman that had just written her masters thesis using the theories of NVC with the movie "the Wizard of OZ"
The movie starts with Dorothy getting into a dispute over Toto, her dog, and a neighbor woman who wants to impound him. Toto is considered a symbol of Dorothy's self being threatened. Dorothy is very upset and goes to look for someone to talk to about it. All her regular support systems are not available (auntie and uncle) and she begins to spiral into herself; the tornado.
When Dorothy lands on her feet again, everything has changed. She begins a journey, on the yellow brick road, to discover herself and in doing so, discovers how to take care of her own needs.
First she meets the scarecrow, who is looking for his brain. Often times when we go through a trauma we only seem to have emotions and our brain doesn't click in. Sometimes it makes us feel stupid and as if we should pull ourselves together in someway.
Then Dorothy meets the tin man, who is looking for his heart. Another part of the self that feels as if it goes missing as we are unable to empathize with others and be in the world with other people. WE are also unable to love ourselves sometimes.
In the scary forest Dorothy meets the cowardly lion who is her inner self feeling afraid and unable to face anything because they feel so damaged and crazy with their situation.
The wicked witch of the west comes into the scene several times and is a reminder of what happened to get her into this state in the first place. She is constantly trying to lure Dorothy back to her trauma state where she will not be on her road to discovery anymore and re-live the experience over and over again.
The poppy field where the group of freinds fall asleep, is where addictions come in to play. Sometimes it's easier to avoid the path and just sleep through life... addictions can be anything from drugs and alcohol to over working or filling ones life up with things to do so as to avoid discovering ourselves.
When Dorothy and her friends reach the Emerald city, which is symbolic of the ever illusive material gift that some people think they will get if they could only achieve better things in their lives, she discovers the wizard. Much to her disappointment the wizard is just an old man behind a curtain. He is also an illusion of someone that will take all her pain away and magically get her home.... or make her understand herself, feel safe and wanted in life.
The Wizard says to her, "I am a bad wizard, but a good man." Sometimes people think that it is a person that will make us be better. When it is discovered that they are only human too, there is anger and resentment there.
The good fairy is that constant reminder that we have people in our life that will stay by us while we discover ourselves. Sometimes that can manifest in having a favorite place or activity to do. The good witch suggests to Dorothy that she click her heals together in her ruby slippers and get herself home. She had the power to do anything she wanted all along, she just needed to realize that for herself.
Wow, this was so moving to me and has made me think of my own tornados in life. I have them everyday in small ways... some of them are much bigger. I seem to be on several yellow brick roads all at once too.
I hope this gives others food for thought. Of course I haven't done it all justice and I am sure that the facilitators thesis is very thorough. Still, hope it is helpful.