I'm a mono In love with a poly girl and know not what to do

I am not saying that there are real polys out there or that the concept is flawed. that is what YOU are putting into the conversation, not me.


Right. And we are the ones putting "negativity" into this conversation, not you.

Have you learned ANY lessons from your experiences, or have you set yourself up to repeat the same mistakes over and over due to circumstances that are just unfortunately out of your control no matter what?
 
?

I'm sorry, I have had a lot of bad relationships but I've never dated a con artist before. Even at their worst I've never dated anyone who sleeps with people to arrange elaborate cons so there really isn't much reference here to establish a repeating pattern. you are basing your incursion into this thread as a means to accuse something. Maybe this is a repeating pattern with you.
 
Ya, well geesh, she sucked. It does sound like she was using poly as a catch phrase to get what she wanted. There are dating sites that use the term "poly" to cover up cheating. That isn't poly, that is some one scamming you by using that word. I'm glad to hear you recoginze this circumstance was about her, not poly as a whole.
 
Ya, well geesh, she sucked. It does sound like she was using poly as a catch phrase to get what she wanted. There are dating sites that use the term "poly" to cover up cheating. That isn't poly, that is some one scamming you by using that word. I'm glad to hear you recoginze this circumstance was about her, not poly as a whole.

exactamundo!
thank you
 
hm. Possible. What say you monopolylover? Sounds like this woman gave you a skewed view of poly, regardless.

It has a lot to do with the dating pool here in the states. For lack of a better word, Americans are psycho. People are ill mannered, get butt hurt over the smallest thing, quick to temper and rarely ever honest or forth coming in relationships. Most in the US see things like polyamory as an opportunity to do what ever they want and call it what it isn't. "I screwed a bunch of girls without telling you,.. well thats just polyamory, don't judge me." Its just like ADD. have you ever noticed the insane amounts of Americans who claim to have it and pump themselves full of drugs for it yet somehow with almost identical social demographics every other major western country has magically avoided the large number of ADD and AADD cases? When Americans want quick excuses, the never have to look far.
 
It has a lot to do with the dating pool here in the states. For lack of a better word, Americans are psycho. People are ill mannered, get butt hurt over the smallest thing, quick to temper and rarely ever honest or forth coming in relationships. Most in the US see things like polyamory as an opportunity to do what ever they want and call it what it isn't. "I screwed a bunch of girls without telling you,.. well thats just polyamory, don't judge me." Its just like ADD. have you ever noticed the insane amounts of Americans who claim to have it and pump themselves full of drugs for it yet somehow with almost identical social demographics every other major western country has magically avoided the large number of ADD and AADD cases? When Americans want quick excuses, the never have to look far.


While I agree that a lot of Americans are that way to some extent, what is YOUR agenda? You're American, right? These things must also apply to you. You seem to not have to look very far to find the excuses YOU want. If you are not American and that is how you feel, then why don't you go back to wherever you are from?

I am not saying this to be snarky. I'm simply trying to help you out.
 
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While I agree that a lot of Americans are that way to some extent, what is YOUR agenda? You're American, right? These things must also apply to you. You seem to not have to look very far to find the excuses YOU want. If you are not American and that is how you feel, then why don't you go back to wherever you are from?

I am not saying this to be snarky. I'm simply trying to help you out.

Born in Kentucky, raised in Wisconsin. I admit, I still feel pissed and I did a lot of dumb things even being in that relationship. This person lied to everyone around her and being part of that still makes me feel sick. I admit, I was gullible. If I was making excuses i doubt I'd be admitting to that but this was hardly a repeat pattern as you have suggested. This was a full on con artist using polyamory as a tool to manipulate and rob people. I've dated some psychos before and I dated two others who were just 'open' using polyamory as a means to gratify their own devices and manipulate people but I've had plenty of good relationships too and I have known honesty AND love in relationships. you are making to much up on your own from what I've been saying. Yes, I'll say Americans by majority are some crazy and manipulative people by comparison to other western countries. But the statistics agree profoundly with that. It isn't just my own personal experience. That doesn't make me an America basher either. Every country has a sociological dark age (England = the colonial ages/Germany = the early 20th century) and this is still a very young country. We just got done with 8 years of having what has to have been the most retarded and despotic western leader in the last 70 years and we even elected the guy president AFTER he stole his first election. If that doesn't tell you there is something just a weeee bit "off" with the population in general then I simply do not know what else would.
This makes for a precarious social climate if you prefer not to "play games" or be played. Be at times, one or the other is going to happen.

What I am sayin is, as far as polyamory, I've expended the chances I can lend to trusting the next yank who wants to tell me they are doing it and being honest. They may very well be. But I'm not pointing that barrel at MY head ever again.
I may casually date more but I am not going to get into plural sexual relationships as in this climate people tend to over complicate things no matter what side of it they are on.

This cowboy is like the wind and to date the wind, you can't trap it in a box and expect it to still be the wind. It will just be a box of stale air. Isn't that the same that any true poly would expect?
 
you are making to much up on your own from what I've been saying.


Stop saying that. Just stop it. All I or anyone else have done is repeat back to you what you said and ask you if that's really what you mean. Then you come back and say we made everything up and then you repeat exactly what you said before already.

I have no further use for this conversation.
 
By the way, don't even think about asking us to delete your posts when you suddenly realize everything that's posted on this forum will show up in a Google search. The answer will be "no". Good night.
 
Stop saying that. Just stop it. All I or anyone else have done is repeat back to you what you said and ask you if that's really what you mean. Then you come back and say we made everything up and then you repeat exactly what you said before already.

I have no further use for this conversation.

Thank you, After seeing how your now stalking me out on other threads just to accuse me of more nonsense I have to agree. You are DONE.

I hate to point out how typical this is and how little a surprise it is that you are a fellow American just looking to stir up another forum thread.

Best to not be to 'snarky' or "jaded" when debating people.
 
By the way, don't even think about asking us to delete your posts when you suddenly realize everything that's posted on this forum will show up in a Google search. The answer will be "no". Good night.

ummm, I see little point in asking to delete any posts seeing as you just edited one of yours AND trolled me to an entirely different thread just to 'snark' at me. I wish it would be a mystery how your perception of what was written got so warped but unfortunately the answer is kind of obvious.
 
You posted your tirade in a section where anyone can respond, debate, challenge you as much as they want. Now you're getting mad, and totally twisting and misunderstanding the feedback a Moderator is giving you. I am absolutely certain you are not important enough to NeonKaos for her to follow you around on threads and take potshots at you - perhaps you just aren't savvy enough to "get" what's been posted. No wonder you were duped by a grifter.

BUT - did you really think you could come to this board and trash polyamory and the people who practice it, and not be challenged by anyone? What good does it do you to come here and spew such nastiness?

Obviously you're pissed -- you let yourself be someone's patsy. However, if you really wanted support you would've just told your story without vilifying the poly "dating pool" and poly in general. We're just calling you on the carpet for your rudeness.
 
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I am absolutely certain you are not important enough to NeonKaos for her to follow you around on threads and take potshots at you

this is a quote from a thread that is not this thread made the same time Ms Kaos seems to have gotten in a snit over me this evening:

Probably not. The OP says they want ACCURATE information.

That after I simply offered contact information for two polys I know in Madison Wisconsin where the OP resides. Then magically Neonkaos appeared to post that.
Obviously there was some kind of issue. Hopefully NeonKaos is over it now as she stated, then edited her own post to restate later while adding that I would somehow want anyone to delete posts I had made.

Now tell me again about "rudeness". Keeping in mind I pack one hell of a screen capture archive for situations just like this one.

I've only "trashed" anyone who has used the idea of polyamory to manipulate people. I never said I myself have NEVER known a REAL polyamorist. I've just never dated a real one and the frequency of knowing those who were honest has been rare in my experience. That is hardly trashing polyamory itself at all. Much of what I have said was taken out of context by neonkaos and likewise I was given a very rude series of retorts instead of any real conversation. But if you look back on this thread everyone BUT neonkaos has actually been very on the level and adult mannered. I do not deal in absolutes, generalizations or anamocity. Somehow though this seems to be the perception by this individual. I can understand it may be yours now by proxy not knowing the whole story. That is understandable. Now that all is seen and heard a better understanding now exists. Taken as it is.
 
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What I am sayin is, as far as polyamory, I've expended the chances I can lend to trusting the next yank who wants to tell me they are doing it and being honest. They may very well be. But I'm not pointing that barrel at MY head ever again.

That raises a question, then: Why are you here? Why are you participating on these boards at all, if you're uninterested in anything poly for the forseeable future?

If you're here simply to snark at polyfolk and otherwise troll, I'll suggest simply moving along now. We won't be tolerating any such nonsense.
 
this is a quote from a thread that is not this thread made the same time Ms Kaos seems to have gotten in a snit over me this evening:

Please note that the mod staff reads most active threads as part of their duties. It is not unusual for a mod to respond in myriad threads--the same as any other random member--while reading them. I seem to be the most reticent to get involved in discussions because I never know how long it will be before I can follow up in any exchange.
 
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