HammerSoph
New member
My partner and I are fairly new to poly. We started in March and my partner has been in a committed relationship with a girl since then who used to be a mutual friend. I do not like my metamour, at all. We don't get along. The way they got together has scarred me massively and my instinct is to be misanthropic. I'm more mono than poly but wanted to explore sexually, so seeing my partner deeply in love with someone else has been hard. Particularly someone I don't like.
I knew this relationship change would change things a lot about our relationship, but didn't expect us to be having significantly less sex. Or that when we were home together (we live together) that he would be looking at his phone expectantly waiting for messages from her. It makes me feel very invisible. Trying to be empathetic and understanding to my partner, but I feel very lonely and increasingly disconnected from him. This is likely my own doing.
On my part, I am dating a lot. Have dated about 14 people since March. Some single dates. Some 2-3 dates. But none have stuck. Some potential on the horizon but yeah. Not yet.
I'm in this negative space at the moment and I need some help. I know that adding more people won't fix the issues we have in our primary relationship, but I'm hoping if I can find solace/happiness in others and have some sex(!) that I will be a lot happier generally.
So what I'm asking is: Have people been in a similar position to the above? What reassurances have you asked of from your primary partner that have worked for you? What advice would you give?
I knew this relationship change would change things a lot about our relationship, but didn't expect us to be having significantly less sex. Or that when we were home together (we live together) that he would be looking at his phone expectantly waiting for messages from her. It makes me feel very invisible. Trying to be empathetic and understanding to my partner, but I feel very lonely and increasingly disconnected from him. This is likely my own doing.
On my part, I am dating a lot. Have dated about 14 people since March. Some single dates. Some 2-3 dates. But none have stuck. Some potential on the horizon but yeah. Not yet.
I'm in this negative space at the moment and I need some help. I know that adding more people won't fix the issues we have in our primary relationship, but I'm hoping if I can find solace/happiness in others and have some sex(!) that I will be a lot happier generally.
So what I'm asking is: Have people been in a similar position to the above? What reassurances have you asked of from your primary partner that have worked for you? What advice would you give?