thank you KM, reading your thread is both informative and helpful.
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As for the std comment i made. Personally, these military doctors are insane when it comes to that crap. I got tested for STD's a month ago even though i assured the doctor there was no way i could have one because i have only been with my husband for 4 years. But, she tested me anyway. And the Army tested my husband at his last major check up back in February, which i am sure has to do with the Army. They test for things even if you assure there it's not possible. So, my husband and i have both been checked within the last 5 months. And since we have had no other sex partners in 4 years i am certain there is nothing "hidden" or "unerlying" in our bodies. What could possibly lay dormant for 4 years? So yes get her checked. We have proof that we were already checked. No need to again unless we have intercourse with someone else.
I'm glad something(s) I said have been helpful.
I understand that you've been std checked, but what I was saying is that there is no way for her to KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that either of you haven't been with anyone else, so being willing to undergo the same procedures you're asking her to go through would probably send a positive message to her about your intentions. Many couples looking for a unicorn get into the mindset of "She has to do x, y, z while we continue doing what we've always done" instead of adapting a little bit to the new relationship and showing equal respect to the woman (and by this I simply mean respect, not that the relationship has to be treated the same in all aspects - I'm not anti-heirarchy, though, as some people are). I'm not saying you ARE disrespectful, just that expecting someone to do something that you aren't willing to do generally isn't a good way to start off with someone.
i got a notification in my email about a reply to this...it even showed me what it said...but its not here on the actual thread to read
to the post not showing up...forgive my vague wording that offended anyone. i was making a summary of a to do list...it was not meant to make the lady sound like a dog.
people treat me like i am not mature if i get offended by someone else's words but if you get offended by my words it somehow doesnt even show up on the thread...just my email...
i am sooo done with this forum. i want my profile deleted.
People around here get pretty defensive if it seems like a person (or couple) is going into a situation with unfair expectations. It's not to be mean or to chase you or anyone else off, it's just that harsh words seem to be most effective at getting people to think about what they are doing/saying.