Hello beautiful loving beings
I would really appreciate some perspective/guidance on my situation. I love people deeply and I've never cheated. I'm unusual, an artist, and have a strong intuition, so when I fall in love (very quickly) that relationship always sustains for years; it's not an infatuation. Please don't judge me.
I was in an abusive dynamic relationship for 5 years, I did a lot of healing, left that relationship, and felt incredibly happy. Then earlier this year I met a fairly well-known performer who was ready to marry, he picked me, I agreed, and we married after a month. I've been proposed to a lot and quickly by men (I'm female) so I wasn't surprised. We're both in our 40s so I was ready to commit too.
I then had a trip overseas for 2 months where I was apart from my husband. During that time my husband had some challenges and was projecting his anger onto me. I moved away from him emotionally because I am vigilant about any potential abuse given my history. I decided to leave him.
I then met someone else. A ridiculously awesome man. I told my husband I wanted a divorce and spent the last 2 weeks of my overseas trip with this new man. We fell in love and planned a future together. I was sexual with him but not full on sex because I was still married despite asking for a divorce.
I returned to the USA, met my husband to discuss the divorce, and realized we are still completely in love. Also, we had good conversations about his anger and reassurances that he is not abusive. I didn't have sex with him though because I am still in communication with the awesome man.
And now I am in this situation - I am completely in love with both men. I was honest with them both and asked them for open relationships. Both refused. Neither wants to "share" me. It breaks my heart to think of not being with either of them. I am currently not living near either of them (because I am trying to make a decision) - both of them want me to live with them and want a decision SOON.
Thank you for reading this post. For sure, it sounds like a great situation to be in - two great guys to chose from but I feel irresponsible for getting into this situation and I don't want to hurt people. I have anxiety as a result and I'm at risk of losing them both because I cannot decide. I am in love with them both and don't know either well enough to make a more grounded who's the "better" life partner decision. (Yes, I know I married quickly, there's so much backstory to that decision.)
I would really appreciate some perspective/guidance on my situation. I love people deeply and I've never cheated. I'm unusual, an artist, and have a strong intuition, so when I fall in love (very quickly) that relationship always sustains for years; it's not an infatuation. Please don't judge me.
I was in an abusive dynamic relationship for 5 years, I did a lot of healing, left that relationship, and felt incredibly happy. Then earlier this year I met a fairly well-known performer who was ready to marry, he picked me, I agreed, and we married after a month. I've been proposed to a lot and quickly by men (I'm female) so I wasn't surprised. We're both in our 40s so I was ready to commit too.
I then had a trip overseas for 2 months where I was apart from my husband. During that time my husband had some challenges and was projecting his anger onto me. I moved away from him emotionally because I am vigilant about any potential abuse given my history. I decided to leave him.
I then met someone else. A ridiculously awesome man. I told my husband I wanted a divorce and spent the last 2 weeks of my overseas trip with this new man. We fell in love and planned a future together. I was sexual with him but not full on sex because I was still married despite asking for a divorce.
I returned to the USA, met my husband to discuss the divorce, and realized we are still completely in love. Also, we had good conversations about his anger and reassurances that he is not abusive. I didn't have sex with him though because I am still in communication with the awesome man.
And now I am in this situation - I am completely in love with both men. I was honest with them both and asked them for open relationships. Both refused. Neither wants to "share" me. It breaks my heart to think of not being with either of them. I am currently not living near either of them (because I am trying to make a decision) - both of them want me to live with them and want a decision SOON.
Thank you for reading this post. For sure, it sounds like a great situation to be in - two great guys to chose from but I feel irresponsible for getting into this situation and I don't want to hurt people. I have anxiety as a result and I'm at risk of losing them both because I cannot decide. I am in love with them both and don't know either well enough to make a more grounded who's the "better" life partner decision. (Yes, I know I married quickly, there's so much backstory to that decision.)