rauhajoule
New member
In light of a recent breakup based on mismatched relationship expectations, I've been doing a lot of self-reflection on what I'm offering in my relationships. Particularly when it comes to time.
I work a full time job, volunteer for a couple different organizations, care for a bunch of household animals, attend social events regularly, and spend time with friends. Between all of that, I don't always have a lot of time left over for my partner(s), let alone myself. And I'm not willing to give up things in my life that I enjoy and that make me happy just to make more time for partners.
I've started to identify more with solo-poly in the sense that I don't have any desire (at the moment) to live with a partner. Nor do I have a desire to become financially or legally enmeshed with a partner. Nor do I place an expectation of longevity on my relationships. I enjoy having my life, and I enjoy them having their life, and I enjoy time that we get to spend together for however long it lasts.
It makes me wonder how folks manage to practice polyamory AND participate in life activities. I follow BlueBird's blog and am simply blown away by how much she manages to do every week. And MsEmotional and others who also care for children.
How do y'all find the time for everything? Is there just a lot of doing life activities with partners? Is there a lot of kitchen table poly? Is there a lot of co-habitation? Is there just not a lot of other life activities happening?
Note 1: not really looking for personal advice, more curious about how others' relationship models fit into the rest of their lives.
Note 2: If there was already a discussion along these lines, my apologies for duplicating - I wasn't able to find a recent thread on this topic.
I work a full time job, volunteer for a couple different organizations, care for a bunch of household animals, attend social events regularly, and spend time with friends. Between all of that, I don't always have a lot of time left over for my partner(s), let alone myself. And I'm not willing to give up things in my life that I enjoy and that make me happy just to make more time for partners.
I've started to identify more with solo-poly in the sense that I don't have any desire (at the moment) to live with a partner. Nor do I have a desire to become financially or legally enmeshed with a partner. Nor do I place an expectation of longevity on my relationships. I enjoy having my life, and I enjoy them having their life, and I enjoy time that we get to spend together for however long it lasts.
It makes me wonder how folks manage to practice polyamory AND participate in life activities. I follow BlueBird's blog and am simply blown away by how much she manages to do every week. And MsEmotional and others who also care for children.
How do y'all find the time for everything? Is there just a lot of doing life activities with partners? Is there a lot of kitchen table poly? Is there a lot of co-habitation? Is there just not a lot of other life activities happening?
Note 1: not really looking for personal advice, more curious about how others' relationship models fit into the rest of their lives.
Note 2: If there was already a discussion along these lines, my apologies for duplicating - I wasn't able to find a recent thread on this topic.