There is a very important distinction to be made here. To say that the OP is cuckolding her bf is just plain wrong. The definition of cuckolding is being unfaithful, which had nothing to do with ethical poly, which the OP is practicing. The connotations of cuckolding in the modern , fetish-y way it's used are that the female partner is purposefully humiliating her male partner, emasculating him. Again, nothing could be further from the truth of the OP's
People have different definitions of what certain words mean dont they. Some people have different ideas about poly relationships, and what poly means to them. I do not use the word cuckold in a derogatory way, my definition of cuckolding is this............
When a faithful boyfriend is in a loving relationship with his girlfriend, she has sexual relations with another man who is a superior/better endowed lover, and the boyfriend knows what is happening and is not comfortable with it. The girlfriend knows it makes her boyfriend unhappy but does it anyway.
Aurelie told us from her first post that her bf was upset and jealous......i.e he was NOT happy with the way things were at that moment. She also told us that she went away on a weekend break with her lover, and that her bf asked her not to.......She went anyway. She admits that her relationship with her lover is based mainly on the "Awesome" sex they have, and that they do little else together. Thats why she went, she wanted a weekend of hot sex with her lover, and she left her bf at home unhappy with the situation, so unhappy that even though he loves her very much he considered ending the relationship. She cuckolded him, going by my own definition of the word. She now admits that what she did was a mistake, one she has promised her bf she will not make again. Aurelie has told us all this herself.
I do not think for one minute that Aurelie has ever got a thrill out of this, although she admits that her lover does. I agree that apart from the weekend away she is respectful, caring, honest, supportive, and loving towards her bf. As I have said all along, the one thing that stands out from her posts, more tahn anything else, is the love she has for her bf.
The thing is, it's not real. To say she "is cuckolding him" is like saying of a couple who enjoys consensual non-consent (in other words pretend "rape" where the person being "raped" in fact loves the idea and could call it off at any time), "he is raping her". Putting it like that makes it seem like something abusive and wrong and unwanted is happening. Rather, in that situation you would say "they are enjoying the fantasy of rape". And in this situation, at least to some minor degree that may or may not go any further, the OP and her bf are enjoying the fantasy of cuckolding. They are *playing* and if that's not explicitly acknowledged in the way people talk about it, it paints entirely the wrong picture.
It would now appear that after she has told her bf the truth about how he measures up sexually compared to her lover, he has come to terms with it. This is great news for Aurelies relationship, and I'm so pleased for her and her bf.
Also, her bf has told her that he gets turned on by the thought of them having sex, not only that, but he gets riled by being teased and hearing how her lover has a bigger cock and how he can make her orgasm more. That is the way I have read her posts, I doubt I'm wrong. This, again is good news. Aurelie says that they are role playing together and that he enjoys it. Great.
Rape role play is 100% fantasy, the person playing the rapist is not a rapist in any way, it does not reflect reality does it?
Cuckold roleplay is different, it is not a complete fantasy, it is based on fact. Yes it is consensual and he enjoys it and there is nothing wrong with it, but as I say, it's based on reality. The facts are..........
Aurelie is a woman who enjoys having sex with her two men, but enjoys her lover more. (Sexually)
The BF is the kind, loving sensitive type, who has a much smaller penis than her lover and also suffers with P.E problems.
The lover is the cocky arrogant type, he has a huge dick that he knows how to use, Aurelie herself has told us that her bf cannot compete with her lover in bed, and she has told us that the lover knows it. She has also told us that he has been disrespectful towards her bf in the past, and that he thinks that he could take her from the bf at any time.
You can look at it anyway you like Annabel, but the fact is there is a cuckold dynamic in this three way relationship. There is nothing wrong with this though, as long as they love and respect each other, and are truthful. As I said before, going by her posts, I like Aurelie and her bf very much and do not think any worse of either of them because of this dynamic in their relationship. I do not like cocky, arrogant and macho bullshit men and I also find them a turn off, so other than the sex, I'm not so sure about the lover. I except that lots of woman (Aurelie included) can find these traits a turn-on though.
"She has also told us that she likes to be tied up and given anal sex when she is with her lover and that her bf waits at home to give her a cuddle when she gets back....That to me is a cuckold." <-- I completely disagree. It's what you make of it. Would it not be cuckolding if she wasn't doing anal with her lover? Would it not be cuckolding if her bf wasn't sweet to her after because he loves her? What makes this cuckolding?
Lets step out of the Poly world for a minute. How many men do you think would except another man tying up and having anal sex with their girlfriends/wifes? The woman that he loves and adores? The woman that he looks after, and whose child he has stepped up to be a father towards? Not only allow and tolerate that, but is also prepared to wait up while this is happening so that he can reassure her with a cuddle and other non-sexual forms of affection when she gets back from her date?
I would say less than 5% of men would. There is a reason for that. Do you think that the bf would want to share the above fact with his friends or family? No, he would not. There is a reason for that also.
The bf is not your average man though, he would not of got into the relationship to begin with if he was, knowing what Aurelie had told him with regard to not wanting to give up her lover. I like the sound of him very much, he sounds lovely. He has all the qualities that I like in a man, and reading what Aurelie says about him, he reminds me of my own husband.
Screw that, we are each what we choose to be.
I agree, my point exactly.......I think there would be a lot more poly men calling themselves cuckolds if there was not so much stigma attached to that word.
A cuckold, again, in popular understanding, is a man whose female partner is unfaithful to him and who then humiliates him by rubbing it in his face.
I disagree with your understanding of the word cuckold, any woman that wants to humiliate or emasculate the man they love is not cuckolding, they are sick and worthless, and I dont for the life of me think that Aurelie would ever rub her mans face in anything that would hurt him. The humiliation aspect comes from within the man himself. I have no problem with the way either Aurelie or her bf conduct themselves. If he is turned on by being a cuckold there is nothing wrong with it. I have no time for macho nonsense.