I hope that everyone is having a great week so far.
First, a big thank you. As someone who is looking for information on the subject, the existence of this forum/repository of knowledge is a valuable asset to someone trying to grasp the edges of Poly.
I am here to understand more about Poly. I am closer to Mono now, I have known the Mono construct my entire life and through 2 extremely long LTRs have also missed out on dating for the most part, in my adult life.
With that being said, I have met someone. She is someone special indeed. She is very much interested in discovering and internalizing on what levels Poly resonates for her. Where they are applicable. Why it evokes the emotional connection it does. She has clearly outlined and openly discussed this upfront with me (did I mention she was amazing?).
I have insecurities. I have envy, jealousy and all of those toxic notions that stem from, what I now believe to be, drawing from my mono construct, attempting to apply it to an entirely different existence. Control masquerading as love. Insecurity, filtering my understanding at a very foundational level and resulting in these emotions that as I acknowledge I have no way to apply my thinking processes/self assessments (because I have never been open to any other options than those mass produced for Monogamous execution) to.. Because I've never been in a relationship with those governing dynamics.
Her depth of inner beauty (INFP and man... she goes deep), is just a powerful thing in the flesh. I am so proud of myself for not abandoning ship. I am understanding how to self-love, and I really want to encourage her to find her answers. Hell, I want to find answers too! And even if the relationship between us, ends up diverging to alternatives that aren't apex for me, I am a firm believer in knowledge as a true currency in life.
You don't know what you don't know, and one piece of information.. A word revealed in a sentence can bring a whole new meaning and understanding with it.
Thank you again for each and every contribution (for those just skimming). I hope to continue learning and being able to further understand myself and possibly aid the person I'm talking to, in discovering what it is she is searching for. Have a great close to your week!
-J
First, a big thank you. As someone who is looking for information on the subject, the existence of this forum/repository of knowledge is a valuable asset to someone trying to grasp the edges of Poly.
I am here to understand more about Poly. I am closer to Mono now, I have known the Mono construct my entire life and through 2 extremely long LTRs have also missed out on dating for the most part, in my adult life.
With that being said, I have met someone. She is someone special indeed. She is very much interested in discovering and internalizing on what levels Poly resonates for her. Where they are applicable. Why it evokes the emotional connection it does. She has clearly outlined and openly discussed this upfront with me (did I mention she was amazing?).
I have insecurities. I have envy, jealousy and all of those toxic notions that stem from, what I now believe to be, drawing from my mono construct, attempting to apply it to an entirely different existence. Control masquerading as love. Insecurity, filtering my understanding at a very foundational level and resulting in these emotions that as I acknowledge I have no way to apply my thinking processes/self assessments (because I have never been open to any other options than those mass produced for Monogamous execution) to.. Because I've never been in a relationship with those governing dynamics.
Her depth of inner beauty (INFP and man... she goes deep), is just a powerful thing in the flesh. I am so proud of myself for not abandoning ship. I am understanding how to self-love, and I really want to encourage her to find her answers. Hell, I want to find answers too! And even if the relationship between us, ends up diverging to alternatives that aren't apex for me, I am a firm believer in knowledge as a true currency in life.
You don't know what you don't know, and one piece of information.. A word revealed in a sentence can bring a whole new meaning and understanding with it.
Thank you again for each and every contribution (for those just skimming). I hope to continue learning and being able to further understand myself and possibly aid the person I'm talking to, in discovering what it is she is searching for. Have a great close to your week!
-J