New trinogamous relationship

Thank you

Yes! thank you I have spoken to them about my decision to part if this last longer than intended, I gave my our boyfriend till our one year anniversary in the summer, if things arent improving by then I will leave and never look back, I also need to think about myself and what benefits me, and this situation going the way it is going is not suitable for my physically,emotional, and mental health. Thanks again. will keep you guys posted hope all is well in your relationships as well!!1 XOXOXO
 
Thanks, I am lucky in that I have gotten those rough years in the beginning out of the way. Some relationships can survive those years, but not all. It takes all three people (where it's a three-person relationship) pulling the train. You seem to be stuck doing a lot of the pulling alone. I hope that changes, and please do keep us posted.

Sympathetically,
Kevin T.
 
Yes, that is great news to hear gives me hope in that maybe it is just a rough time and that it will all work out for the best. our boyfriend does alot of pulling too, he tries his hardest but feels like its still two seperate relationships, he sympathizes with me in the fact that she needs to let go of the anger and stop need so much validation in we are here for her, and she should alreay know that, thanks again will talk to you all soon.
 
Sounds good. I am glad your boyfriend is pitching in with this difficult situation.
 
yes he is, he sees both views but also sees that she has taken it a tad too far and that i need to maybe just relax and take it one day at a time
 
Well, there's always the chance that things will get better. It's good that you established a time limit, which lets you see a light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, yes, one day at a time is best. One hour at a time if you have to.
 
so far on the same boat, she keeps feeling left out of little things that i for one have been left out on before and do not see the big issue. its times like yesterday when she walked out the house because we didnt wait to do something with her that make me feel like shes just seeking more attention, i felt truly embarrased because my friend was over and my girlfriend got upset said me and our boyfriend are inconsiderate then walked out the door. Its like nothing is ever okay, she later came back and said she wasnt mad she just needed a walk and that she just feels like she cant express herself when we are always listening to her and asking her to open up but if shes always walking out then how is she supposed to say how she feels? and also she explained how she still thinks about things and the past and that she wants to be here but she dont know how to stop thinking about other things that happened, and i just keep saying it wont work it you dont let go and you obviously not letting go, and its uncomfortable for me because i openeed up my life my heart and my home to you and your just throwing dirt on my emotions are just wanting us to focus on yours, there are alot of things i think about but i dont bombared her with them because it just dampers peoples moods and i feel like she needs to learn that. my patience is running thin, as well as my boyfriends, more mine than his because he loves her more than me im in the process of getting to know her more and this is all she does. how can someone fall for someone if they dont let them in if all they do is aggrivate the situation instead of just embracing it 100%? everyone i know is telling me to leave, yet they understand that its hard to walk away from the one you love especially after all youve done for them.....i dont want to imagine a life without my boyfriend and neither does he, but right now its starting to look like a happier life because if she still has jealousy issues with me or sharing issues or just selfish thoughts about this whole thing than i need to reconsider who i lay my head to rest with every night.....just updating you guys sorry i keep on rambling all the time i just dont know who else would truly understand a polyamorous relationship but people who expirienced it first hand.:confused:
 
Keep that due date in mind (the one-year anniversary in the Summer). Only you can decide how much of the bad treatment you can/should endure, and for how long. If it's not a healthy situation, then you have to pry yourself away from it.

Does the ex girlfriend know about the due date? Does she know she has til the one-year anniversary to improve? It doesn't sound like she's in any hurry to change; she just keeps doing the same things.

Be as fair as you can, to all parties involved including yourself.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Yea things are clearing up and looking brighter she's opening up and not being so jealous and I guess just embracing it can also just be temporary this embracing but she does not know about the time limit since I have been pushed closer to that decision lately but she knows I'm not going to tolerate any more of her selfishness it's three people not two so she does need to understand that it's not always her the center of attention it's all of us
 
Well, I'm glad things are looking up for now. I expect there to be some ups and downs along the way, and you just have to decide if the amount of ups is increasing.

If you get an opportunity sometime (sometime when she is receptive) to tell her about the time limit, I would take advantage of that opportunity. It's only fair for her to know what's at stake, and what to expect if she persists in the selfish behavior.

I hope she continues to do better.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Thank you for your well wishes as well as your realistic insight to the matter. I do hope this is now a new elaf we have turned and that everything will be okay. Im very much in to astrology and Im constantly connecting her emotions with her zodiac sign and how we can all connect in an emotional, physical, and spiritual sense. There are some traits or characteristics that i do see that are just her characteristics thats just who she is but maybe who she is is someone who isnt compatible with me, with that being said so far so good dont want to jynx it all.
 
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, and send some good ju-ju your way. It may very well be that you'll always have to put up with some difficult behavior. The key is just to get it down to manageable levels.

Good luck and good love.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Yes I will come to a point in telling her as well as seeing if the cut off line is also a must. So far no arguing more acceptance from her part and also more love from her part I woke up this morning to her sweet embrace, it was an amazing feeling to know that now both my partners are syncing into this relationship, if all goes well I can see this happening for a while. Thank you all for your support and advise I will report shortly on how this positive road is heading!! Xoxoxo:D
 
That sounds great; keep us posted as things are moving along.
 
Thank you so much everyone, its been great the past few days. No fighting alot of communication, and alot of intimacy. I am well beyond pleased at how this is unraveling. I know this could go sour at any moment but I dont want to ruin this positivity in my life. The bills are managing properly, we are all syncing with our work schedules and its just a great feeling all around. I hope this can last and i hope this isnt her just testing the waters, even though my intuition is giving me that just be cautious scowl. Thank you all will keep posted. Till then, I hope and wish you all the best in your relationships as well. From one lost open soul to another enjoy your week everyone!! XOXOXO :D
 
i have just found out that a few days ago my girlfriend told my boyfriend that she didnt want him having relations alone with me, yet she does in fact have relations with him alone, she doesnt with me because i know shes not comfortable, she doesnt ever want to have relations with us both becuase i know thats not what she wants. so i finally came to the decision today that this isnt going to work out for me, i can not be with someone that selfish, she will never change even if she says she has it will always be a problem, unfortunately this means i have also lost the initial love of my life my boyfriend.:( but i guess thats the price i pay and maybe its what i need, no more drama no more jealousy, no more feeling neglected because she feels her needs arent being met. thank you guys all for your love and support, although i like this site i might not return again due to thinkin that a trinogamous relationship might not work out for me again in the future, even though the thought of it would be pleasant.
 
So sorry to hear that things aren't working out, but I can see what you mean when you say your girlfriend's demands have just gotten to be too much.

I certainly respect your choice to visit or not visit Polyamory.com, but I hope you will still visit us and say hello. Even if you aren't in a poly situation and even if you don't plan to be in one, you're still welcome here in my opinion.

Whatever lies in store for you in the future, I hope it is peaceful and fulfilling, a welcome break from the drama that you have endured.

With respects and regards,
Kevin T.
 
Thank you so much, i am truly grateful for all your kind words, i am very fragile right now for it was today that i made the decision, but maybe i will finally breath easy knowing i wont have to be the stepping stool to anyone any longer.i will visit most definitely you all have been nothing but kind and helpful, thank you yet again
 
No problem; hang in there.
 
I am sorry Anya, take care and please keep in touch but please do remember that a triad is not the only form of poly and just because this form of poly didn't work out for you doesn't preclude you from having other forms of polyamorous relationships in the future.
 
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