A request: state your gender and sexual preference/orientation

Female, bi, married to a straight male. currently where it stands but actively seeking a triad with another woman. :)
 
Agender (FAAB, and fine with female pronouns since it's just easier to not correct everyone in my life, especially since I'm not particularly androgynous most of the time), queer and civilly united. I sometimes identify as "bisexual" out of some sort of political affiliation...since growing up, when I still identified as female, I got SO much shit for it both from the queer and straight communities. But given the givens it's just kind of incorrect.

Both my partner and my metamour identify roughly the same way as I do with variances in performance and leanings - which is entirely coincidental and wasn't something I was looking for, especially since I've been dating my wife since we were in high school and neither one of us even really knew we had an option besides the two checkboxes on the forms. Didn't know polyamory was a thing back then either :p

I typically am attracted to androgynous-leaning-slightly-femme performing people of any gender.
 
I'm bi (and queer) and male.

I really don't like the phrase "sexual preference," and suggest changing the thread title words to "sexual orientation" because that phrase much more accuarely defines what a person's ... well, orientation is. I don't have a preference, and I don't think anyone else does either. What we have is an orientation. [edit: bold underline so no one forgets]

It is generally agreed in the LGBTQ world that the word "preference" implies choice, while "orientation" makes no such implication. This is the basic reason for my preference for "orientation" in such topics.
 
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Cis-gendered female. Bi, but much closer to the lesbian side of the spectrum in orientation (meaning, I find very few men romantically or sexually interesting, but there are enough that I can't really consider myself a lesbian, exactly). Relationship configuration fluid: I am happy in a variety of configurations from alone to mono to poly, depending on the situation and those in it.
 
pansexual female

This is now a little less than accurate (as I've learned more about myself).

AFAB femme demi-girl (uses she/her pronouns but perfers fae or nym pronouns), pan-romantic, grey-a with fluctuation between sex-neutral and sex-adverse. Both partners are male, when I feel comfortable with dating again I want a more feminine energy.
 
Re (from OP):
"I don't know if anyone is confused as I am. But it would be great to have new people start their posts by clearing this up."

I'm not new to the forum, but I'm newly aware of this thread, so let me do my part.

  • My gender: male (born biologically male and have always identified as male).
  • My sexual orientation: heterosexual (though I'll never say never).
  • My relationship status: polyamorous (in an MFM poly-fi V).
More info is available on request.

Question: What's "AFAB?"
 
Question: What's "AFAB?"

I just Googled it: "AFAB" is a shorthand for "assigned female at birth."

It is interesting to note that Magdlyn started this thread to request that members state their gender and orientation in their posts (new members, new threads, etc.), or at least their initial posts, so we would have more pertinent information before responding. You know how often a post goes on and on, my partner this, my partner that, without telling us those things?

Anyway, people just started posting that info in this thread instead -- which really doesn't do much to have it all in one place here, unless whoever posted here links to their post when they start a new thread to ask questions. And we know that ain't gonna happen. Nobody even bothers to read the Guidelines before posting, much less search or reference other threads. :rolleyes:
 
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I just Googled it: "AFAB" is a shorthand for "assigned female at birth."

Not to be confused with PreFab, which is shorthand for "Presumed to be fabulous at birth." :p ... no, wait, it's shorthand for prefabricated gender in the womb. ;)
 
Re (from nycindie):
"I just Googled it: 'AFAB' is a shorthand for 'assigned female at birth.'"

... ohhhhh. Makes sense, thanks! (I need to google more often.)

Re:
"It is interesting to note that Magdlyn started this thread to request that members state their gender and orientation *in their posts* (new members, new threads, etc.), or at least their initial posts, so we would have more pertinent information before responding. You know how often a post goes on and on, my partner this, my partner that, without telling us those things?"

I actually think that should apply to all posts, both by new members and by longtime members. If you're going to talk about your partner/s, give some indication of who is who. This is often done in members' siggy lines which is a good idea. I don't do that but hey, I don't often talk about my partners

... who are:

  • kdt26417 a.k.a. Kevin T. ... I, me, the author of this post, and one of the male legs of the MFM V.
  • Snowbunny ... the female hinge of the MFM V.
  • Brother-Husband ... Snowbunny's lawful/legal husband, and the other male leg of the MFM V.
More info available on request.

I think I gave a pretty good rundown in my intro post. Plus plenty of elaboration in my blog thread. [shrug] Other than that I just rely on people to ask me for clarification when needed.

Re: PreFab ... yeah, that would be me. :)
 
I noticed that sometimes it was confusing when new people posted. Then I realized relationships are relationships and gender, orientation doesn't really matter...does it?
 
Then I realized relationships are relationships and gender, orientation doesn't really matter...does it?

Sure they do. If we are just here to listen and support and not give feedback, then knowing specifics isn't really relevant, but if we're trying to help someone by offering our perspective, then the more we know about a situation, the better. Most of us in this forum community are very open minded, but we don't live in a gender or orientation-neutral world, so of course knowing those matters when advising a person about his/her relationships.
 
Knowing a poster's gender, orientation, etc. also ensures no one is misgendered, and no one's defaulting to cis-het assumptions. It would be awkward, for example, if someone asked for advice about their partner's snoring, and a poster responded with something like "She needs to tell her husband to get a CPAP"... when the poster is agender and prefers "they/them" pronouns and is involved with a woman.

It might seem like a small thing, but to me, asking advice on a large forum of total strangers can be uncomfortable enough. Being addressed as the correct gender, name, pronouns, etc. can help some people feel more comfortable.

Also, although it's a gross generalization, there can be some differences in how different genders react to situations and respond to problems. I've read (and been told by the men I've been involved with, though they might have only been making excuses) that women tend to be more emotional, while "guys" tend to be more rational, and women tend to be more willing to discuss a problem, while guys just want to fix it and move on. So, right or wrong, if a man and woman posted for advice on exactly the same issue, I at least would tend to advise the man slightly differently from the woman based on those generalized gender differences.

It also helps in some cases to explain to the poster how their partner might be seeing the situation; I vaguely remember at least a couple of threads (not recent ones, and I wouldn't be able to find them at this point) where part of the problem was that a male poster couldn't understand why his female partner wanted to discuss everything, and a female poster couldn't understand why the male partner kept shutting her down when she tried to get him to tell her how he felt. It might be easier for a female to see the female partner's point of view and explain it to the male, and vice versa, but if we don't know the gender of the poster and the partner, it's harder sometimes to know what needs to be explained and clarified in order for the advice and suggestions to be useful.
 
I know the issue of gender bias came up a little while back. There was also that guy who claimed a bunch of us sided with his wife because she's a girl. I don't really approach people's problems that way, nor do I make a generalized assumption based on gender.
 
I think knowing the genders and orientations (and cultural background!) of a poster and their partners is helpful because then we can at least ascertain the kinds of messages about gender roles that might play a part in creating conflict or a problem, and that can help us offer better feedback/advice.
 
I am a transgender man... I'm bi/pansexual... I'd like to hook up with more men, but super nervous to.

I guess I am somewhat gender fluid as well.
 
I'm bi (and queer) and male.

I really don't like the phrase "sexual preference," and suggest changing the thread title words to "sexual orientation" because that phrase much more accuarely defines what a person's ... well, orientation is. I don't have a preference, and I don't think anyone else does either. What we have is an orientation. [edit: bold underline so no one forgets]

It is generally agreed in the LGBTQ world that the word "preference" implies choice, while "orientation" makes no such implication. This is the basic reason for my preference for "orientation" in such topics.

River, I started this thread over 5 years ago. Terminology has evolved.
 
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