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  #171  
Old 04-11-2019, 12:01 PM
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Emm Emm is offline
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If you have evidence of a sock puppet please bring it to the attention of the moderators, privately. Otherwise, you are requested to respect the privacy of other forum members and to avoid trying to publically identify those who may wish to remain anonymous.
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  #172  
Old 04-12-2019, 08:09 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
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As previously mentioned by Emm and as written in the first line of the forum guidelines, there is a responsibility for people to be considerate to each other.

As regards privacy and presumptions of anonymity, everyone has access to the warnings and information before and upon signing up. This is an open and public forum, so whatever you post will remain on the board and publicly searchable for anyone on google.

If you post using a common name, or reveal identifying details that a small and insular online poly community is able to make connections on other public fora, it is not this forum's job to conceal or cleanup after you. Take responsibility for your posting habits like an adult. If you wish relative anonymity, it's your responsibility to preserve it.

As it affects the current situation, no rules were broken, nor were identifying details disclosed in the posts. Information was only alluded and appears to be based on otherwise public information and a side of gossip. The consideration standard was upheld, but very much on the edge of a fuzzy line that I would not encourage anyone to replicate.

By the same token, being a discussion area, and where irregularities are noticed, we're not inclined to censor someone for simply pointing out that there might be something amiss. See the paragraph above about taking responsibility.

Let there be no mistake: Doxxing or posting of private information that hasn't legitimately made public will NOT be acceptable.

Everyone here has the responsibility to preserve the environment of the forum for open discussion. I appreciate you all for working towards that.

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  #173  
Old 04-15-2019, 01:35 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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There's no evidence that this is related, but it seems as though someone's finding another way to damage FV: https://twitter.com/franklinveaux/st...31632676114432
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Dramatis personae:
Me: 48/F, Monoflexible? Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 49/M, Partner of 8 years.
Spinner: 54/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with about a year ago. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 49/F, Chops' partner of 8 years
Curls: 51/F, Chops' partner of 3 years


Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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  #174  
Old 04-16-2019, 01:20 AM
ref2018 ref2018 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
There's no evidence that this is related, but it seems as though someone's finding another way to damage FV: https://twitter.com/franklinveaux/st...31632676114432

Definitely sucxk to be him right now. The *real* him, that is.
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  #175  
Old 04-16-2019, 11:31 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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So are you thinking that there is a conspiracy of people (women, I assume) who have deliberately set out to ruin Franklin's life? Including by committing identity theft & tax fraud?

And, again, this seems MORE LIKELY to you than that Franklin is abusive?

???
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  #176  
Old 04-17-2019, 06:01 AM
Maur Maur is offline
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Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
(women, I assume)
Why would you assume that particular thing? I mean, there are men involved in the conspiracy, uh, sorry, survivor pod.
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  #177  
Old 04-17-2019, 08:46 AM
SEASONEDpolyAgain SEASONEDpolyAgain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
So are you thinking that there is a conspiracy of people (women, I assume) who have deliberately set out to ruin Franklin's life? Including by committing identity theft & tax fraud?

And, again, this seems MORE LIKELY to you than that Franklin is abusive?

???
I have no idea if the tax stuff is related to this but yes, based on everything I've seen, I do think a bunch of friends went on a witch hunt to prove someone's incompatible ex who was a substandard partner was some awful abuser.

Other people online (post now deleted from FB) have revealed that the pod went around any and everyone they could who had been in a relationship with to try and get them to also come forward with claims of abuse. This included twisting words of what the person reported and attempting to convince them that, yes, this thing they viewed as a sign the relationship wasn't going to work as part of his catalogue of abuse. They spammed his FB friend's inboxes with pressure to disassociate from him (publicly stated on FB).

I think entitlement is an issue here, as well as people who wanted to be like the cool kids and poly in a way that wasn't suited to them. They may have been caught in a trap of wanting to be good at something they feel is better or more ethical than alternatives. A lot of average poly people (30ish, white, identify as feminist, often have ethical eating habits like veganism) think that the only right way to do poly is towards an egalitarian polyamorous relationship rather than swinging or hierarchical poly or a DADT. They will pursue this at the expense of their contentment just to live up to some ideal.

You're not entitled to healthy, happy relationships. You have to build them. That's what gives you the right to have them. Effort and understanding. Not simply being there.

I have no doubts that FV was likely a neglectful partner but that simply doesn't constitute accusations of abuse or this whole "call-out" business either. I think it makes a mockery of real attempts at transformative or restorative justice where people have been genuinely violated.
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  #178  
Old 04-17-2019, 11:11 AM
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FallenAngelina FallenAngelina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SEASONEDpolyAgain View Post
I think it makes a mockery of real attempts at transformative or restorative justice where people have been genuinely violated.
Have we heard any specific accusations from specific partners?
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  #179  
Old 04-17-2019, 11:31 AM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
So are you thinking that there is a conspiracy of people (women, I assume) who have deliberately set out to ruin Franklin's life? Including by committing identity theft & tax fraud?

And, again, this seems MORE LIKELY to you than that Franklin is abusive?

???
I don't necessarily believe the same people accusing FV of abuse are committing tax fraud, although knowing his SSN would certainly make this easier. This may be some of the damage done (by others wanting to take down a tarnished guru) as a result of the allegation. The damage that was claimed to be easy to recover from in a prior post.

Regardless of the intent of the survivor pod to have this be "transformative justice," the court of public opinion will do what it will, and *it* will likely get punitive with its actions. People love the tear-down of icons. I think it's naive at best to say otherwise.

To answer your question, I find it more likely that someone is attacking FV directly rather than this being the outcome of a data breach. He may well be abusive too; they're not mutually exclusive.
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: 48/F, Monoflexible? Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 49/M, Partner of 8 years.
Spinner: 54/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with about a year ago. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 49/F, Chops' partner of 8 years
Curls: 51/F, Chops' partner of 3 years


Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter

Last edited by YouAreHere; 04-17-2019 at 12:44 PM. Reason: No longer on mobile.
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  #180  
Old 04-17-2019, 12:26 PM
SEASONEDpolyAgain SEASONEDpolyAgain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenAngelina View Post
Have we heard any specific accusations from specific partners?
That's partially what forms my views.
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