Hate to say I told you so...
On the 8th, just when we were starting to imagine a day when life might start going back to normal we got the call that Herman would be having surgery at 1pm the next day. He was very upset about it for a few hours, I thought he should have been expecting this, I was. Then he went right back into denial mode of thinking maybe this surgery won't be that big of a deal. Obviously none of the 4 or 5 people who called prior to the surgery had any idea what they were actually planning on doing.
The car wasn't going to get fixed until the weekend and the hospital is 2 hours away so thankfully his parents had wanted to go along anyway and were able to drive us. When we got there we were told we'd been pushed to 4. I saw the doctor out of the corner of my eye for 3 seconds at 5 and they cut into him at 6pm. A half hour later the surgeon comes out to tell me that the original surgeon was right. It was a disaster in there. He was intending to move one small piece of bone back into place but it turns out that would have required him completely taking his wrist apart and starting over and destroying the tiny amount of cartilage that was left which would have left him worse off in the long term. So he just removed the piece. He will always have limited motion and strength and it will be very arthritic at some unknown point in the future. Herman wasn't awake yet so it was left to me to explain this to him. Thankfully he wasn't under full anesthesia this time and hasn't been in any pain so the days immediately following were much easier than last time. Unfortunately the lack of pain this time seems to lead him away from coming to terms with the long term effects. Maybe he thinks I worry too much or am being overly cautious or maybe he's just in denial I don't know. I wish he would have been able to hear from the doctor himself. We've had two surgeons now apologizing to me that there wasn't more they could do and telling me its the worst wrist injury they've seen. This is life changing.
Herman and I are butting heads about his employment future. His job involves both frequent heavy lifting and detailed mechanical work. It is unlikely he is going to be able to perform those functions and even if he could, it would lead him to losing function and suffering from arthritis sooner. He works at a small business consisting of only himself, his coworker/manager and a friend of the shop who comes in to cover for one of them on occasion but isn't a trusted or 100% physically capable employee. Herman has insisted on going in to the shop to help answer the phones, talk to customers and supervise the helper when the manager has to go out since almost immediately after he got out of the hospital. We have been arguing about this constantly.
This business obviously isn't able to accommodate a change of his duties. Additionally the mostly retired owner is threatening to close the business based on declining sales over the last couple years. Herman creating an additional staff issue is certainly pushing him in that direction. His coworker says he's looking for other work based on that. If he does leave, that would be the end of the business immediately.
Herman on the other hand, seems to be completely refusing to think about his next source of employment. I believe he could have filed for temporary disability assistance and used that cushion to look or train for a new job. He insists on continuing to go to his current job until they quit paying him and is making no effort to plan for the future. Am I wrong in feeling rather WTF about this?
When we got the news that he would be having a second surgery I made him agree in writing that he would inform the manager he must take a full week off after his second surgery. Then the monday following surgery, in the middle of a discussion about what to do going forward, he said he was going crazy being at home and walked over to my office. I told him he could take the car to run to the bank and the grocery just to give him something to do and instead he immediately went over to his work shop! Well once they were aware that he wasn't on medication this time and well enough to be driving, he was expected to start coming in again. I was furious. Remember when I said he hadn't actually learned anything? Yeah that is the exact same thing he did the day he got hurt. Was supposed to go to the bank and immediately did something behind my back instead.
On the 8th, just when we were starting to imagine a day when life might start going back to normal we got the call that Herman would be having surgery at 1pm the next day. He was very upset about it for a few hours, I thought he should have been expecting this, I was. Then he went right back into denial mode of thinking maybe this surgery won't be that big of a deal. Obviously none of the 4 or 5 people who called prior to the surgery had any idea what they were actually planning on doing.
The car wasn't going to get fixed until the weekend and the hospital is 2 hours away so thankfully his parents had wanted to go along anyway and were able to drive us. When we got there we were told we'd been pushed to 4. I saw the doctor out of the corner of my eye for 3 seconds at 5 and they cut into him at 6pm. A half hour later the surgeon comes out to tell me that the original surgeon was right. It was a disaster in there. He was intending to move one small piece of bone back into place but it turns out that would have required him completely taking his wrist apart and starting over and destroying the tiny amount of cartilage that was left which would have left him worse off in the long term. So he just removed the piece. He will always have limited motion and strength and it will be very arthritic at some unknown point in the future. Herman wasn't awake yet so it was left to me to explain this to him. Thankfully he wasn't under full anesthesia this time and hasn't been in any pain so the days immediately following were much easier than last time. Unfortunately the lack of pain this time seems to lead him away from coming to terms with the long term effects. Maybe he thinks I worry too much or am being overly cautious or maybe he's just in denial I don't know. I wish he would have been able to hear from the doctor himself. We've had two surgeons now apologizing to me that there wasn't more they could do and telling me its the worst wrist injury they've seen. This is life changing.
Herman and I are butting heads about his employment future. His job involves both frequent heavy lifting and detailed mechanical work. It is unlikely he is going to be able to perform those functions and even if he could, it would lead him to losing function and suffering from arthritis sooner. He works at a small business consisting of only himself, his coworker/manager and a friend of the shop who comes in to cover for one of them on occasion but isn't a trusted or 100% physically capable employee. Herman has insisted on going in to the shop to help answer the phones, talk to customers and supervise the helper when the manager has to go out since almost immediately after he got out of the hospital. We have been arguing about this constantly.
This business obviously isn't able to accommodate a change of his duties. Additionally the mostly retired owner is threatening to close the business based on declining sales over the last couple years. Herman creating an additional staff issue is certainly pushing him in that direction. His coworker says he's looking for other work based on that. If he does leave, that would be the end of the business immediately.
Herman on the other hand, seems to be completely refusing to think about his next source of employment. I believe he could have filed for temporary disability assistance and used that cushion to look or train for a new job. He insists on continuing to go to his current job until they quit paying him and is making no effort to plan for the future. Am I wrong in feeling rather WTF about this?
When we got the news that he would be having a second surgery I made him agree in writing that he would inform the manager he must take a full week off after his second surgery. Then the monday following surgery, in the middle of a discussion about what to do going forward, he said he was going crazy being at home and walked over to my office. I told him he could take the car to run to the bank and the grocery just to give him something to do and instead he immediately went over to his work shop! Well once they were aware that he wasn't on medication this time and well enough to be driving, he was expected to start coming in again. I was furious. Remember when I said he hadn't actually learned anything? Yeah that is the exact same thing he did the day he got hurt. Was supposed to go to the bank and immediately did something behind my back instead.