Several folks in the forum have recently shared that they are lacking friends, or are lacking friendships of a certain kind -- such as friends who they can comfortably talk with about relationship or personal challenges which involve open or poly relationships.
I'd also noticed this. I commend you for bringing the topic up.
Is it more challenging to make new platonic friends these days than it once was?
Or is it just more challenging for those of us who are older? (Do young people experience this challenge as much as older folks?)
It isn't any more challenging for me to make platonic friends these days than it was when I was younger. I've always been more of a loner type; relying on two or three really close friends rather than a host of acquaintances. However, this was always "enough" for me, as long as they were genuine, like-minded friends.
These days my agoraphobia and social anxiety has worsened, therefore the "means" by which I make new friends has changed (almost exclusively online, though I've subsequently met a few of these people irl) - but this does not take away from how close I feel to these friends, or diminish the value they bring to my life.
How to go about finding / making new friends?
There are myriad ways one can go about finding new friends, yet I notice that many people over college age seem to rely mostly on their partner/s or old friends for company. They may become close to people in the workplace, but these friendships often don't transition well after leaving the job concerned.
I guess online groups (social media, fan-based groups, gaming) are a popular method of making new platonic connections. That's certainly been the case for me.
Then there are team sports and social groups that focus on a particular interest/hobby: environmental groups, political groups, book clubs, hiking/diving/sailing/swimming clubs - you name it, there is a group for everything. Volunteering is a great ways to meet people: homeless shelters, animal welfare organisations/fostering, coaching school sports teams etc.
Why are close, platonic friendships important?
Personally, I think having people *other* than one's spouse or intimate relationship partner/s to discuss things with is very important. If only because having a wide range of people to talk to and socialise with helps a person become a more well-rounded individual, via the different perspectives offered by others.
Not only this, but sometimes a person's SO is too close to the issue (or IS the issue), and one needs an outsider's POV in order to clearly see the problem for what it is, as well as possible solutions one might not have thought of.
There is also the fact that, just because a person may be in an intimate relationship or relationships, it doesn't necessarily follow that their SO/s also share their passions, interests, hobbies. Like-minded platonic friends are a boon when it comes to pursuing one's interests, whatever they may be... from sports, to gaming, to music/concert-going or the like.
Isn't that what a therapist is for? (Can or should a counsellor or or therapist be our only go-to person for intimate talk about our lives?
Isn't that what our spouse or partner is for? (Heck, who needs friends when we're busy and have our spouse / partner to talk with?)
There is a place for psychologists/counsellors, if a person has a genuine need or desire for on-going therapy to overcome some trauma or to help them with strategies to manage anxiety, anger/jealousy, improve communication style or the like.
But by no means is a therapist a substitute for close, intimate (non sexual) friendships! (Except in the case where a person has no other confidantes, or making friends itself is a genuine problem.)
A therapist is required to maintain a certain level of professionalism and decorum. They're likely to speak in rather "PC" terms and may use jargon that would seem unnatural within the scope of a close friendship. There is also a power differential: they may be the professional, but you are paying for their service and as such, may "fire" them or choose not to return if you don't like their style.
The dynamic between close friends tends to be much more egalitarian, casual, even irreverent. The latter can cause friction at times, but there are other times people need trusted confidantes who aren't afraid to pull punches and will tell it like it is.