New member

Coaster

New member
Good day everyone,

I've been married for 6 years now to a wonderful woman and mother to our 2 little girls. I've never been with anyone else but her. I'm wanting to experience a threesome (MFF)and she's on the fence about it. Her thing is that she would like it to be with a friend. We have talked about it and decided that when we do it, it will be with a friend we have made. With that being said, I'm considering a poly relationship with that friend. My wife knows about it and is also on the fence about that as well. I'm not pressing the issue and if it happens it happens. We have read success stories and not so good stories. Was just wondering if I can get some information to help better our decision, if we should go through with it. Thanks for the advice and help.
 
Hi Coaster - and welcome to the Forum! We have lots of experienced poly folks here who are generally helpful and friendly - please feel free to post your specific thoughts and questions to the General Poly Discussion and Poly Relationships Corner sections as they are generally quite active.

I'm wanting to experience a threesome (MFF)and she's on the fence about it. Her thing is that she would like it to be with a friend. We have talked about it and decided that when we do it, it will be with a friend we have made.

MFF normally indicates the women will also interact so I'm taking it that your wife and your friend are both bi. That would not be an issue on this forum obviously - just clarifying.

I'm considering a poly relationship with that friend

I'm glad you noted the difference - a threesome is, of course, not poly in and of itself. Plenty of poly folks never engage in group sex. Do you have in mind a poly relationship between all three of you - a triad? (Like a triangle vs a "V" - in which you would be the hinge and have separate relationships with both women individually.)

The FMF triad is often the goal of couples just opening their marriage - both dating the same woman. While it seems like an obvious choice, there are actually several pitfalls - most especially the ethical treatment of the woman you are dating (that is - will she be treated as an equal in the relationship).
You might want to check out the following link (on "unicorn hunters") for some good insights and food for thought:
https://davidlnoble.livejournal.com/176039.html

This is not to say that a triad might not work out well for the three of you - sometimes they do, but, by all accounts, far less often than you would think.
Experience has shown that for most polyamorous marriages/partnerships, each partner dating separately tends to be a more successful model.

Again, welcome and best of luck on your journey! Al
 
Greetings Coaster,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

In poly, it's important to have consent from everyone involved, so don't be in too much of a hurry as long as your wife is still on the fence about it. It's mostly a matter of opinion, and depends on the specifics of your situation. I recommend that you post now and then to keep us updated on how things are going for you. This will give us more info on your situation, and help us be able to give more advice. You may want to post in Poly Relationships Corner, more members will take notice and respond there.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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