Ravenscroft
Banned
Yah, I too saw "withdraw consent" as a veto.
And I agree with Tinwen that facing manipulation with more manipulation is a degenerating game.
Also with "The only way to really withdraw consent is being ready to break up." The relationship is already in seriously deep trouble; even if AlbionMoonlight could cajole or plead or manipulate or bully the partner into backing off from her negative behavior, nothing is fixed, nothing is solved. The underlying problems (whatever they may be) remain, & like any other addiction it's probably going to creep out in other ways (like escalating passive aggression) or simply seethe until all those behaviors explode out all-at-once & perhaps more wildly.
Don't try to "put the worms back in the can." Better to start organizing a "move along" plan, then remind the partner that "we talked about this, I made my limits clear, & I cannot continue to live in this manner. Would you like to find some sort of compromise with me, or should I just leave now?"
And I agree with Tinwen that facing manipulation with more manipulation is a degenerating game.
Also with "The only way to really withdraw consent is being ready to break up." The relationship is already in seriously deep trouble; even if AlbionMoonlight could cajole or plead or manipulate or bully the partner into backing off from her negative behavior, nothing is fixed, nothing is solved. The underlying problems (whatever they may be) remain, & like any other addiction it's probably going to creep out in other ways (like escalating passive aggression) or simply seethe until all those behaviors explode out all-at-once & perhaps more wildly.
Don't try to "put the worms back in the can." Better to start organizing a "move along" plan, then remind the partner that "we talked about this, I made my limits clear, & I cannot continue to live in this manner. Would you like to find some sort of compromise with me, or should I just leave now?"