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  #1  
Old 04-05-2018, 08:19 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
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Default Need advice

Hi everyone I donít know who else to ask this and you guys give great advice. Iím not sure how to link my last post in here but since writing I have found a great girl and weíre going on our fourth day in less then a month this Saturday. I talk to her everyday. My parents have no idea I found someone. They know I been out with someone too breakfast and dinner but they donít know itís someone I like. They donít know I like this girl. Iím going to visit them on Friday and Iím sure my mother will ask who I been out with and if they knows her. Mom always asked a lot of questions. Also we like to text each other on her breaks and lunch when Iím off and after work. So Iím sure Mom will asked who it is.

I hate lying of any kind. But have no idea if they be ok with me dating a girl. As you can tell Iím a girl 33. Things are going well so I feel I should tell them sooner then later but Iím not sure how to handle this. Is it to soon to say anything? Im all confused about this. I have kept my poly side very secret before but this one is different. I know Mom would ask a lot of questions. Any advice would be great. Iím just so happy. She makes me so happy. By the way she knows of my poly and is ok.
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  #2  
Old 04-05-2018, 11:05 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gria2004 View Post
Hi everyone I donít know who else to ask this and you guys give great advice. Iím not sure how to link my last post in here but since writing I have found a great girl and weíre going on our fourth day in less then a month this Saturday. I talk to her everyday. My parents have no idea I found someone. They know I been out with someone too breakfast and dinner but they donít know itís someone I like. They donít know I like this girl. Iím going to visit them on Friday and Iím sure my mother will ask who I been out with and if they knows her. Mom always asked a lot of questions. Also we like to text each other on her breaks and lunch when Iím off and after work. So Iím sure Mom will asked who it is.

I hate lying of any kind. But have no idea if they be ok with me dating a girl. As you can tell Iím a girl 33. Things are going well so I feel I should tell them sooner then later but Iím not sure how to handle this. Is it to soon to say anything? Im all confused about this. I have kept my poly side very secret before but this one is different. I know Mom would ask a lot of questions. Any advice would be great. Iím just so happy. She makes me so happy. By the way she knows of my poly and is ok.
From your other thread, you mentioned liking trying to date a guy. So, you're bisexual (or pansexual) and also polyamorous?

Nowadays, at least in the US and Western Europe, in the more progressive areas, many people come out to their family or origin as "not straight," ie: gay, lesbian, bisexual... And many people who are transgendered come out as trans... since they need to live as their true gender.

Some families accept their children as the sexual preference or identity they are, right away. Some families indeed suspect the sexual preference or gender ID before the child/teen/young adult even knows it themselves.

However, many people, especially in conservative areas, or in countries where it's actually illegal to be gay (there can even be the death penalty), of course to not "come out."

Being openly polyamorous is even more misunderstood, in all cultures. Modern polyamory is quite a new movement. It was brought about by feminism. Women are now avoiding marriage since it still so often implies they are the possession of one man.

Bisexual or pansexual people (like myself and my female partner) have even more reason to be polyamorous.

Coming out to your mother, at age 33, well, that is your choice. Many people as teens, and dependent on their parents'financial support for room, board, or college tuition, would not come out to conservative parents who might disown them. But at age 33, it could be different.

What kind of response would you expect to get from your mother (and other family members she might tell)? Loving support, or horror and fear and tantrums?

Some families are upset at first, but after a year or so, with work and effort, come to understand and support LGBT status or polyamory.

However, I've know lesbian parents (2 moms) who are horrified by polyamory. Sometimes if you're living with an alternative sexuality, poly can seem like a step too far.
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Mags (poly, F, 63)
Pixi (poly, F, 41) my nesting partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 37), Pixi's bf since April 2013
BigGuy (poly, M, married, 43, dating me since late summer 2018)
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  #3  
Old 04-05-2018, 06:26 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hi Gria2004,

Here's a video presentation that might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ-8ocmtb_8

Sounds like you are dating a great lady, I hope your mom/family will be accepting.

Regards,
Kevin T.
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  #4  
Old 04-06-2018, 04:37 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Hi Gria2004,

Here's a video presentation that might help: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ-8ocmtb_8

Sounds like you are dating a great lady, I hope your mom/family will be accepting.

Regards,
Kevin T.

Thank. I hope they will Be too. The lady says tell them when Iím ready. So she ok if I wait but I just hate to lie.
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  #5  
Old 04-06-2018, 04:39 AM
Gria2004 Gria2004 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
From your other thread, you mentioned liking trying to date a guy. So, you're bisexual (or pansexual) and also polyamorous?

Nowadays, at least in the US and Western Europe, in the more progressive areas, many people come out to their family or origin as "not straight," ie: gay, lesbian, bisexual... And many people who are transgendered come out as trans... since they need to live as their true gender.

Some families accept their children as the sexual preference or identity they are, right away. Some families indeed suspect the sexual preference or gender ID before the child/teen/young adult even knows it themselves.

However, many people, especially in conservative areas, or in countries where it's actually illegal to be gay (there can even be the death penalty), of course to not "come out."

Being openly polyamorous is even more misunderstood, in all cultures. Modern polyamory is quite a new movement. It was brought about by feminism. Women are now avoiding marriage since it still so often implies they are the possession of one man.

Bisexual or pansexual people (like myself and my female partner) have even more reason to be polyamorous.

Coming out to your mother, at age 33, well, that is your choice. Many people as teens, and dependent on their parents'financial support for room, board, or college tuition, would not come out to conservative parents who might disown them. But at age 33, it could be different.

What kind of response would you expect to get from your mother (and other family members she might tell)? Loving support, or horror and fear and tantrums?

Some families are upset at first, but after a year or so, with work and effort, come to understand and support LGBT status or polyamory.

However, I've know lesbian parents (2 moms) who are horrified by polyamory. Sometimes if you're living with an alternative sexuality, poly can seem like a step too far.
Thank you.
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