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Old 03-21-2013, 07:36 AM
kashshaptu2013 kashshaptu2013 is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
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Just a short intro. I'm 46, female, bisexual, married and have my lesbian partner living in the house. I had a great relationship with her back in the 90's and had to break it off for a very personal reason that had nothing to do with her personally, but with the court and my kids. Simply, my kids were taken and I had to end it with her to get them back. I was married twice before, the first ex being the father of my two children and the second ex a real PIA. I met her while I was with the second. I was living with her when I met the guy I'm married to now. I've been married to him since 96 and I didn't think about a woman until 2011 and had an affair with a lesbian I live near. A lot of issues were in the marriage that led me "astray". Well, after that ended, I ended up talking to this past woman again and we still wanted to be with each other. The hubby knew about the lesbian neighbor, cuz I told him about it. He was upset and he is homophobic. He knew upfront about the relationship I had with the woman I was living with, on our first date. I was truthful about it. So when I told him I wanted to see her again, he made the offer to have her move into the house. Now, there is no threesomes going on, he has no desire to have any sexual relationship with anyone but me. She works with me on my jobs and joint jobs that I get that she can work alongside me. I know he is somewhat jealous that we spend a lot of time together because of this. He works 40+ hours at his job, one that I can't be there. My line of work is different altogether, thus I can take her along and she helps me complete more jobs in less time. Teamwork. I guess you can say I have both a husband (legal) and a wife (not legal). He has one wife and she has a wife, nothing more. Anyone in a similar situation?
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Old 03-23-2013, 03:20 AM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 17,001

Hi kashshaptu,
Welcome to our forum.

I am not quite in the same situation, but I am in an MFM "V" -- in this case a married couple, plus the wife has a "non-legal husband" in addition to her legal husband. I am the "non-legal husband."

Most poly situations have their rough spots, especially in the beginning. I would suggest talking to your husband about ways to make your time with him more special -- some way to help him feel less "left out." See if you can get him to talk about what he needs.

Have a look around on our site; see what threads interest you. There is a lot to learn here. Post any thoughts or questions you have as you go along.

I'm glad you could join us.
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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Old 03-23-2013, 08:48 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 2,061

Originally Posted by kashshaptu2013 View Post
I guess you can say I have both a husband (legal) and a wife (not legal). He has one wife and she has a wife, nothing more. Anyone in a similar situation?
I live with my husband and my boyfriend. They are not involved with each other (or anyone else at the moment - although Dude will probably have another girlfriend at some point).

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-always-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (26+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (8+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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