New Mexico

River

Active member
Given how few place-based fora there are here, using my city name for a topic probably isn't the best idea. But I'm from Santa Fe. I'm bi-, male, and poly. Hope to meet other poly- folk in my city or nearby.
 
HI, I am from the area. My husband and I are looking into the poly lifestyle. We are also looking twards the BDSM lifestyle combined with the poly. I like to meet people from both for good food and friendshp.
 
Dairine,

I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?
 
Attraction to BDSM

JRiver,

I can only speak for myself on this subject. If there are others out there who may have input to help, I would appreciate any you could give.

I have always felt drawn to poly even befor I had a name for it. I found I had a heart that was too big and needs that were to varied for just one person to help fulfill.

So, to answer your question, some of my needs tended twards the kinkier side of life. I have always wanted to serve someone who would be responsible for Me, take care of Me, allow Me to be who I Am.

I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Now that I am an adult, I have found a community that is accepting of these things. In fact, like the Poly Community, they encourage communication and honesty among their members. The people involved really do care about the safety and health of those they have around them. They tend to look out for each other.

I think for me, it is the community that I seek and the ability to find the limits of Me. I also really want to build my family in such a way that all parts of Me are taken care of. Some of my needs have to do with taking care of others and serving as they wish me to.

For some, the Poly Community takes care of their needs.....for others, it takes a bit more.

I guess it is the "bit more" that attracts Me to the BDSM lifestyle.

If you have any more questions, please ask...I will answer if I can.

Be well
Dairine

"
I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?[/QUOTE]
"
 
I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Dairine,

Sorry for taking so long to reply to your reply to my question.

Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)
 
Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)


JRiver,

I have done quite a bit of inner exploration where this topic is concerned and I have several theories as to why I have this need....but it basically comes down to some tall psychological walls that I need to scale/breach to do some intense inner healing.

I have a place where trusting anyone is very difficult. (mind you this is just one example)....To be made helpless and be hurt by someone, (mind you in a safe environment that appears dangerous at the least) and then cared for and shown that it really is safe, would go along ways towards opening that door and letting me clean out the closet of head monsters hiding in it.

For me this is a journey of inner healing.

As for vanilla icecream....home made? Is there any other kind?
 
Dairine,

Wow! I'm impressed. And now it isn't so very difficult to understand as it had been. Seems to me that most of us have "head monsters" of various sizes and degrees of scaryness.... I know I've got some! I support you and encourage you in getting to know them and evolving larger than they.

Warmth and tenderness to you. And thanks!

River
 
River,

Thank you. I am glad that I could help you understand.

I have a friend and mentor that has some very strange needs that I have trouble wrapping my mind around.....But, when I look at it from the perspective I have just explained, I can at least accept it. I still don't quite understand, but, I can accept.

Peace be with you my friend and if Ican help in anyway again, please just ask.

Namaste
 
Any other NM poly folk out there?
 
Trying to find poly community in New Mexico

This is my first post on this site. I've tried emailing the websites for newmexico listed in LOVING MORE magazine, but i received no reply.

I'm bi and happily married to a man in albuquerque. He's supporting the awakening of my poly-self. So looking to find community support here.

Thanks to other New Mexican Poly's.
 
I'm just taking a moment to welcome the several other New Mexicans who have recently appeared in the forums (aka, fora). Welcome!

We have at least two new folks, one from Albuquerque and another from Santa Fe. Please introduce yourselves here or otherwise speak about yourselves here. I have to be very quick at the moment ... but perhaps we can arrange a gathering for tea?
 
Hi AlmaMay!

Hello AlmaMay,

This is my first post also. I live near Santa Fe and I am amazed that I am comfortable putting myself out there like this. I decided that you "only live once!" and that "Love is too important not to be shared!"

I hope that you and I can become fast friends and that we can support one another on this journey!

Take care, Debbie
 
Greetings! It's nice to see there are others here in Santa Fe. I'm very new to poly and still am trying to find my footing, though so far I'm having much less trouble adjusting than I thought I would. So, um...hi! ^_^ Nice to meet you all.
 
Welcome to the forums, Sevamar! I'm happy to find so many Santa Fe folks showing up in the forums. Perhaps in the future there will be activities we can organize, such as picknics (in spring, summer...), hikes, tea, drinks...? Maybe even a camping trip? Social gatherings....
 
Thanks for that info River!

Hi River,

Thanks for all of that info...it is great to see such support on here.
I am such an infant in my journey and it will be nice to be loved and
nurtured through this process.

Life means so much more when we can love on one another and help
everyone to feel good about themselves.

Hugs, Debbie
 
Already I feel more welcome than I expected to be. ^_^ I think this kind of atmosphere is precisely I've decided to give poly a chance. Thanks a lot! I would absolutely love to be involved with whatever we can get together.
 
Monthly Poly Meeting

There is a safe, comfortable community to learn and explore poly. It meets in Santa Fe. Here is the announcment for the upcoming meeting.

We had a wonderful discussion Saturday about Poly Activism. We've had a
bit of a sequence, starting with September's "Land Mines on the Path to
Poly," October's "Poly Activism - or how do we get rid of the land
mines. The suggestion for November is "Who Put The Land Mines There -
And Why?" or why does society seem so intent on controlling sex, and
limiting alternative life styles? Should be stimulating!

We're now meeting the 2nd Sat of each month, so that means our poly
gathering will be Sat. Nov 14. Pot Luck 5-6, Discussion 6-8,
socializing and hot tub 8-10.

Mim Chapman hosts the event at her home. If you're interested or want directions email me.

Matt
 
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