What words do you use - lover, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, something else?

I wasn't aware of a band with the name until you mentioned it. I saw a mention of it online somewhere today.
 
It's become apparent from other discussions that one term won't fit all partners. In the hierarchy of primary/secondary/tertiary, I'm thinking we can try to find terms to fit each that aren't clinical and don't sound derogatory in any fashion.

As I posted elsewhere in this thread, I think "paramour" works for primaries. For those who differentiate between their levels of involvement, then, what would be a good term for a secondary? A tertiary?
 
I still can't come up with anything SC.....my wife is still my wife, it would slight her to be called anything else. Paramour, sounds so oldfashioned, I don't think anyone to day would get what it meant. My 2nd I'm sure would feel slighted by being called secondary. So far all I've been able to come up with is "my girls"....even though they are both over 50! "Tribe" won't work, because people envision us living on a reservation, "clan" is so Celtic and none of us is Irish.....maybe I just have to call them "family"?
 
So, you're in a social situation where you need to introduce the ladies to somebody else. "This is my wife," you say. You then introduce your secondary. "This is my..." what, exactly?

That's one of the questions that needs to be answered, I think. Yeah, "paramour" does sound old-fashioned. There would be some folk who wouldn't recognize it, certainly. I still think it a bit better than "girlfriend."
 
I'm totally good with being called "boyfriend" in my case, or secondary. But I am also very steadfast in that I do come second to Repeppers husband and son. I take no slight in it. I find it almost humorous introducing Redpepper as my girlfriend though..sounds like I am in high school LOL! Girlfriend is the best I have for now so I'm running with it:)
 
You could upgrade them from "girls" to "ladies" if you are so inclined. "Girls" sounds a bit juvenile, but it's your lives so whatev...
 
What about Life Love. I would be happy being called that. Indicates a deep commitment based on expected longetivity and love. I'll run it by Redpepper:) Let me know what you think!
 
What about Life Love. I would be happy being called that. Indicates a deep commitment based on expected longetivity and love. I'll run it by Redpepper:) Let me know what you think!

I like it :)

I think you could call me that though cause I am good with husband and primary... well I think I am. ?!

Life love suits both of you somehow though... hmmmm.
 
Husband and primary...makes me sound so important:) I'm good with anything really..and yes secondary works too!
Life Love for you is better for sure though..and so it will be!!
 
I'm not really sure yet...

Our close friends know the score and know that they are my husband and boyfriend.

However, our living situation is about to change. For simplicity's sake (as we're moving back into the town where my mother and my husband's mother live) I think the boyfriend will be assuming the "roommate" role.

They do refer to each other as "fraternity brothers", but it's very silly and tongue-in-cheek. :p
 
I call them both my 'boyfriends', and am quite open about it. Being in the same room at the same time has never happened though, but I know I'd choose to play it neutral if it ever came down to it.
 
Mono, the Life Love thing sounds about as good as any I've heard....I may have to roll with that brother........
 
An interesting conversation.... I am just getting involved with a man, and together we are searching for the right person(s) to share our love and life with.... so this hasn't come up YET. I do like "Life Love" though. Very nice, and very fitting
 
Wasn't that the title of a Disney movie? lol! Reminds me of a terrier......it does roll off the tongue a little easier than "lifelove" I'll give you that Mono.
 
This Is very interesting. I generally Refer to them By the relationship, Spouse and gf. I generally Dislike the titles "primary and seecondary" But I understand the significance Of these relationship types.
 
Although I have always said I will never be the reason to break up Sunshinegrl and Aussieblokes marriage, and will back away if that ever appears to be happening, (meaning I DO value that relationship above either of the relationships I have with them) I very much dislike the term primary and secondary. To me, it DOES make me feel less important. I know that's kind of contraditorary in what I just said, but I guess that's the difference between my thoughts on a locigal level and an emotional one.
I've been struggling with the 'labels' issue lately. Since I discovered the poly world and that there ARE others like us, reading the FAQ, if you will, and learning the terms, just confused me more. Feeling like I want/need the labels but not sure what I want to call them. Perhaps because I've been in a marriage for so long, the terms gf/bf seems a tad like we're all teenagers. After all, the last time I had a gf I was 18. When I've talked about them to those in my life I wish to, basically it's '... or ...' (insert name here)
So here I am, labeless, at least on my end. lol
 
Just focus on the love and not the labels.

I'm lucky in that I could care less about labels. I will never let myself feel equal with Redpepper's husband out of respect for there relationship and him as a person. I like the supporting role:)
 
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