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Old 08-23-2015, 07:23 PM
JustCurious83 JustCurious83 is offline
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 40

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I also don't understand why you say you "don't want to risk your friendship" with him. If you have such a solid friendship, how is it at risk if you get closer and possibly even add sexual intimacy to the relationship? I think you're overreacting.
Its all depends on the friendship. I am in a closed triad with my best friend and her husband and I had the same questions as you have, I was scared of ruining my friendship. But to be honest my fear had been proven to be completely unfounded other than in my head. Jess and I are honestly closer than we have ever been and our albeit limited sexual relationship has only brought us closer. The three of us are happier than we have been in years and are loving every minute of exploring this new life together.

Good luck and I hope things work out as well for you as they have for me!
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Old 08-23-2015, 07:49 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,030

Some friendships don't survive adding sex to the mix, because the friends feel awkward around each other and feel as if boundaries have been blurred. I lost a friend that way before I met Hubby. We were awesome friends, decided to have sex one night... and after that he faded out of my life because he said he was too uncomfortable around me.

It depends on the person. For some people, sex can be a fun, uncomplicated thing with a friend. For others, sex carries emotional attachments that don't always work in the context of a friendship. The only reason Best Friend and I never had sex--and this is the reason he stated the one time we talked about it--was because when he has sex with someone, he forms a deep emotional attachment to her. He's wired completely monogamous; he needed to be someone's "one and only", so he didn't want to have that kind of attachment with me. He was definitely attracted to me, and he knew I was open to it, but he couldn't take the chance.
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Old 08-23-2015, 10:52 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7,267

Thanks for clarifying that Zed is your spouse. I didn't catch that the first time. Sorry about that.

It sounds like you have a plan and you know how you want it to be.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-23-2015 at 11:02 PM.
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best friends, mono vs. poly, new to polyamory

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