Murasaki
Member
Marcus I didn't feel like quoting anyone else, so I'm admitting up front to being lazy. And since I do disagree with some of what you are saying, (mostly based on MY PERCEPTION of the OP's posts) I decided to share at least that much of my thoughts today.
The amount of irritation would depend on a few factors for me. One how late were they> Did I attempt to get in contact, and get no reply? When the late party arrives, is a reasonable explanation given (sorry I was driving, and was hurrying home so didn't stop on the way)?
I can't speak for anyone else, but in my case if you are say 20mins late, I assume traffic was heavy, or some other traffic issue, an un-expected detour what ever. A few hours? Maybe, depends on the explanation. "I was in a loud venue, lost track of time, can't hear the phone". But to follow several ours of late with an "its not my fault" To me sounds like a whiny child. It feels like the "late" party needs to grow up and take some responsibility.
When I went out to a swingers club I told Kuroi WHEN I would be home by. WHEN I realized I wouldn't be home by that Time I sent a "still here. not leaving yet, having a good time" message. Actually sent the message a few mins before I PLANNED to be home and the venue is at least 30 mins away from home. I did not have any specific plans laid out, but Kuroi was expecting me home at the reasonable hour of 1 am because I SAID I WOULD BE.
If I can't keep my word/promises on SMALL things how can I expect other people to trust that I will keep my word/promise on the bigger things.
For example the "friend" I went to the swingers club with. That friend is used to the people in their circle not being true to there word. So becoming friends with me is a refreshingly pleasant change. I was told that my friend was glad that I keep my word like I do. That it means we can make solid plans and nothing gets dropped. (for one) It also means this friend can rely on me in ways they can't rely on other people in their life.
<disclaimer: My mood right now is not the best or even close to happy/neutral. So my perceived tone may be more negative than actually intended.>
The question should be raised, is the irritation commensurate with the crime?
The amount of irritation would depend on a few factors for me. One how late were they> Did I attempt to get in contact, and get no reply? When the late party arrives, is a reasonable explanation given (sorry I was driving, and was hurrying home so didn't stop on the way)?
It doesn't seem to me as if anyone is asking for regular updates. Just that they want to know you are running later then you intended. And this is wanted due to your stated time of arrival.For the cheap seats, all I'm suggesting is to keep things in perspective and to be honest about the nature of the agitation and seeming need to be given regular updates.
So again, all I'm saying is that people should check their motivations when they get annoyed by people being late. Is the principle of "you said 8 and it's 8:15" really worth the irritation if there was no harm or delay caused? Is it even relevant in the grand scheme of things? I say... not remotely.
I can't speak for anyone else, but in my case if you are say 20mins late, I assume traffic was heavy, or some other traffic issue, an un-expected detour what ever. A few hours? Maybe, depends on the explanation. "I was in a loud venue, lost track of time, can't hear the phone". But to follow several ours of late with an "its not my fault" To me sounds like a whiny child. It feels like the "late" party needs to grow up and take some responsibility.
When I went out to a swingers club I told Kuroi WHEN I would be home by. WHEN I realized I wouldn't be home by that Time I sent a "still here. not leaving yet, having a good time" message. Actually sent the message a few mins before I PLANNED to be home and the venue is at least 30 mins away from home. I did not have any specific plans laid out, but Kuroi was expecting me home at the reasonable hour of 1 am because I SAID I WOULD BE.
If I can't keep my word/promises on SMALL things how can I expect other people to trust that I will keep my word/promise on the bigger things.
For example the "friend" I went to the swingers club with. That friend is used to the people in their circle not being true to there word. So becoming friends with me is a refreshingly pleasant change. I was told that my friend was glad that I keep my word like I do. That it means we can make solid plans and nothing gets dropped. (for one) It also means this friend can rely on me in ways they can't rely on other people in their life.
<disclaimer: My mood right now is not the best or even close to happy/neutral. So my perceived tone may be more negative than actually intended.>