My partner and I began seeing eachother almost 2 years ago. We went into the relationship agreeing that we would explore poly together. We've built some great communication and a solid foundation for a primary relationship. Well, now it's getting real. He met someone recently and it's moving fast(well, fast to me). We've gone on dates, but nothing serious has really ever happened. We've been talking about it and I realized that he's comfortable having sex after 2 or 3 dates with someone and I'm not. I don't know why I thought he was on the same page with me on that, but we are different people and that's ok. He knows I'd need to meet her first, because that's one of our stipulations. I was more anxious than ever before when he went on their first date. It went well and they're really hitting it off. Now the idea of him having sex with someone else is making me nervous. Not her, she seems awesome, just in general. I've been with partners briefly that were poly and had other relationships and it didn't bother me at all. So, I don't know why it is now. I am so confused why the idea of him having sex with someone else is upsetting me so much, but it really is. Yet, I have felt more compersion and anxiety the past week and a half than I ever have before and I just don't get it. Have others had any of these feelings the first time their partner was ready to be sexual with someone for the first time? Should I be questioning whether I'm actually poly after all? I expressed these concerns to him and we're talking. He asked me to email her and he said sharing concerns and being open with her was fine. So, I did. And now she's chosen to stop seeing him temporarily so we can figure this out which makes me feel horrible. Does anyone have any good articles or posts that would be good for me to read or for him?
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