and I feel a lot better. I laid out the boundaries I discussed in the Meltdown thread, and he was really patient and attentive.
One thing he assured me is that he isn't going anywhere which is my biggest fear. He understands that both women involved are new to this, and since I am the "baby" of the bunch (being the youngest of the three), that I may need more time.
He was again deeply apologetic about placing us both in that situation, and admitted his lack of judgement and selfishness in how he handled it and promised me that he would never place me in that environment again.
He encouraged me to be totally honest and not be afraid to speak up even if I am afraid of how my feelings will be received. I think that is the most important lesson learned for me... I just need to know when to put the brakes on if I feel like things are moving too fast.
We are going to spend some more one on one time together since everything is so new. I am sure he is going to spend one on one time with his OSO as well so he can develop both relationships, and I am OK with that.
As for me ever being ok with the group thing... I'm not sure yet. I know that at this point I wouldn't want to be in the same bed with him and his OSO any time in the near future. Maybe I could grow into some playtime with others, but I won't know that until I am in the situation.
One thing I am glad to hear is that others on this forum don't necessarily do the group thing and have successful relationships. In a past conversation, he had indicated that it was important to him that his SO's be into group sex or be bisexual. At this point, I am not sure if I'm either, and I don't want that to effect our relationship (will he make me less of a priority if I'm not kinky enough)???
I must admit that I am having a lot thrown at me in the little over a month since I have accepted this lifestyle, but I am willing to do two things: 1) Continue to explore what works / not works for me and 2) Communicate openly about those things. Hopefully, things will continue to work out.
So... how long does it take to get used to all this?
One thing he assured me is that he isn't going anywhere which is my biggest fear. He understands that both women involved are new to this, and since I am the "baby" of the bunch (being the youngest of the three), that I may need more time.
He was again deeply apologetic about placing us both in that situation, and admitted his lack of judgement and selfishness in how he handled it and promised me that he would never place me in that environment again.
He encouraged me to be totally honest and not be afraid to speak up even if I am afraid of how my feelings will be received. I think that is the most important lesson learned for me... I just need to know when to put the brakes on if I feel like things are moving too fast.
We are going to spend some more one on one time together since everything is so new. I am sure he is going to spend one on one time with his OSO as well so he can develop both relationships, and I am OK with that.
As for me ever being ok with the group thing... I'm not sure yet. I know that at this point I wouldn't want to be in the same bed with him and his OSO any time in the near future. Maybe I could grow into some playtime with others, but I won't know that until I am in the situation.
One thing I am glad to hear is that others on this forum don't necessarily do the group thing and have successful relationships. In a past conversation, he had indicated that it was important to him that his SO's be into group sex or be bisexual. At this point, I am not sure if I'm either, and I don't want that to effect our relationship (will he make me less of a priority if I'm not kinky enough)???
I must admit that I am having a lot thrown at me in the little over a month since I have accepted this lifestyle, but I am willing to do two things: 1) Continue to explore what works / not works for me and 2) Communicate openly about those things. Hopefully, things will continue to work out.
So... how long does it take to get used to all this?