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  #11  
Old 09-28-2017, 09:43 PM
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I was raised in the Catholic Church. It doesn't get much more hostile than that...lol. I had to fake my way through it from about the second grade on, until I finally put my foot down in high school.
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  #12  
Old 09-28-2017, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
I was raised in the Catholic Church. It doesn't get much more hostile than that...lol
Growing up among the evangelical fundamentalists of the deep south, I was taught that the Catholics weren't "really Christians" - meanwhile, in other parts of the country, the fundamentalists were often viewed by the Catholics as wayward apostates. Interestingly, while they bashed each other's theological differences, the fundamentalists and the Catholics have almost always been on the same page when it came to sexual morality. They really have much more in common than they realize - even to this day.
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  #13  
Old 11-07-2018, 12:40 AM
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I wrote the original post on this thread around 15 months ago, a few months into granting my wife's request to open our marriage so that she could ethically explore her resurgent feelings for an old college boyfriend. A lot of evolution since then - coming to self identify as poly myself, with a poly partner as well.

In the latest church development - Ben, my wife's boyfriend, was in town for the weekend this past week - and attended church with us. And it all went well, although I did have to tease my wife - as she sat between the two of us - if she could relate to the phrase "nervous as a whore in church". Ben, who also self identifies as Christian, (but has not attended since he was a small child) found the pomp and circumstance of the liturgical style service to be quite interesting, and we had a great conversation about it all afterward.

As I wrote in the first post, and elsewhere on the Forum, I have a personal theology that might be viewed as demythologized Platonic-Christian Gnosticism. In that sense, and with a view toward Jesus' teachings on love, kindness, and forgiveness, I do identify as Christian. Becky, my wife, is a recovering Catholic - so we do not really feel a need to attend church, but made the decision to raise our daughter in a progressive, open minded church.

Al
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  #14  
Old 11-09-2018, 02:13 PM
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Originally Posted by FallenAngelina View Post
I guess it's tangential to the discussion, but this is poignant.
Indeed.

I've been exchanging emails with a trans gal who is considering moving from Wisconsin to Albuquerque, which is just South of me about fifty miles. She wanted information, support, here before she lands here and was reaching out.

Her words indicate fear ... of "being stabbed to death". She also shared with me this morning that lots of guys have been hitting her up for sex, assuming she must be a prostitute, offering her money for sex.

She shared this last bit with me right after I had invited her for coffee if and when she should show up in town. She wanted it to be clear that she was not a sex worker and wasn't looking to "bang".

It's rough out there. Happily, I live in a relative oasis. Folks here in lil ol Santa Fe are affected by the social contagion that we're hinting at here. But the epidemic isn't so in your face as it is in many big cities. You know, the desacralized human, the desacralized life, the cheapening of everything.... Heart-blindness, if you will.
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  #15  
Old 11-12-2018, 10:49 AM
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Originally Posted by vinsanity0 View Post
And your post makes me feel uneasy. Why would you reduce a loving relationship to a sexual threesome? Yikes!

Even though I am an Atheist, I think it's fantastic that they have a place they can go worship whatever and feel free to be themselves. The way most church people deal with homosexuality makes me sick.
I didn't reduce a "loving relationship" to merely sex, threesomes or otherwise.

Al mentioned he was observing with pleasure the touches between the lesbian V or triad. And he was especially excited to see them because he knew his own wife was getting laid by another guy at that exact moment. So it seemed to be, at least partly, a moment of thinking about actual sex, for him. Polyamorous SEX, not just "love," bleached of desire/lust and physical pleasure.

I guess, as a bisexual woman, it's a bit icky, to know that a straight guy would be observing me with a female partner or partners and imagining me having sex during church. Or be reminded his wife is getting banged at that moment, when he sees me touching my partner non-sexually.

But I'm not into sex shaming. People think about sex all the time. Especially those cursed or gifted with tons of testosterone. You know who you are.

Maybe if I was horny at this very moment I'd be also enjoying Al's voyeuristic thrill. But sometimes when I'm not horny, the thought of sex is icky. Which is weird, because sex and kink are something I really enjoy.
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  #16  
Old 11-12-2018, 10:56 AM
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Originally Posted by River View Post
Indeed.

I've been exchanging emails with a trans gal who is considering moving from Wisconsin to Albuquerque, which is just South of me about fifty miles. She wanted information, support, here before she lands here and was reaching out.

Her words indicate fear ... of "being stabbed to death". She also shared with me this morning that lots of guys have been hitting her up for sex, assuming she must be a prostitute, offering her money for sex.

She shared this last bit with me right after I had invited her for coffee if and when she should show up in town. She wanted it to be clear that she was not a sex worker and wasn't looking to "bang".

It's rough out there...
What kind of signals is your "transgal" acquaintance putting out, that men are assuming she is a sex worker? Most transwomen I know do not put out a "fuck me now" vibe. Some are shy, some are fierce, some are artists, some are athletes, most are just trying to get through the day like anyone else. Working, buying groceries, taking the damn dog for a walk, doing hobbies, gardening, playing video games, watching TV, moaning about politics.

The same goes for the the transmen and gender non-conforming people I claim as friends or close acquaintances.

Maybe your transwomen acquaintance dresses very sexy and flamboyantly as if she's a drag queen? I don't know how the TV actor Laverne Cox dresses when she's at home, but I see her in fancy wigs and revealing dresses and tons of makeup on media, that to me, send an almost drag queen vibe, not just a transwoman vibe. And drag queens can look pretty whorish, over the top.
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Pixi (poly, F, 41) my darling nesting partner since January 2009
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  #17  
Old 11-14-2018, 02:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
What kind of signals is your "transgal" acquaintance putting out, that men are assuming she is a sex worker? Most transwomen I know do not put out a "fuck me now" vibe. Some are shy, some are fierce, some are artists, some are athletes, most are just trying to get through the day like anyone else. Working, buying groceries, taking the damn dog for a walk, doing hobbies, gardening, playing video games, watching TV, moaning about politics.
I don't know her well at all. We exchanged a very few emails. That's it. But I do know that she's currently not in a financial position to by groceries, walk the dog, do hobbies, garden, play video games, watch tv.... She's homeless and drifting and scared. Maybe some men see her, therefore, as something cheap they can buy.
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  #18  
Old 11-14-2018, 02:29 AM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
People think about sex all the time. Especially those cursed or gifted with tons of testosterone. You know who you are.
LOL

I'm 52, almost 53. Things are ... shifting. I used to be a bit of a sex junky, though a discerning one. Now I'm just a love and touch junky. I can get a lot of yummy from non-sexual cuddling, massage exchange, stuff like that.
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  #19  
Old 11-15-2018, 12:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
What kind of signals is your "transgal" acquaintance putting out, that men are assuming she is a sex worker?
I forgot to mention that she describes herself as "gutter punk". I only had a vague sense of what that means before reading here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gutter_punk
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